How Many F#!@% Cats Do You Have?

This is my inaugural Finish The Sentence Friday Post! With this particular prompt, I couldn’t resist. You’ll see why:

One Halloween I…

met the greatest guy in.the.world. I was at a bar with a friend, and this cute guy asked Frank-the-bartender who the girl with the beautiful smile was. Three hours of non-stop chatter later, I gave the cute guy my number on a cocktail napkin. We still have that napkin.

That cute guy had his work cut out for him. For one, at that time I had eight cats. Let that sink in for a minute. Eight. Cats. For some insane reason, that didn’t deter him. He not only pretended to like them in the beginning, he scooped litter and cleaned hairballs for fifteen years until the last one passed away.

PaPa?

He tolerated the year I quit smoking, which is also the year I chewed Nicorrette gum and gained twelve pounds, which is also the year he woke up with Nicorrette gum stuck in his armpit hair cuz I always fell asleep with the gum in my mouth. He patiently helped while I graduated college, supported me when I decided what I really wanted to do had absolutely nothing to do with my degree, and cheered me on through years of trying to figure myself out.

He has an incredibly stressful job…but you’d never know it. Somehow he’s able to leave his high-stress world at the door when he comes home to us, always making time to take the boys for a bike ride, or help with homework, or wrestle with them before bedtime. And I don’t think a day has gone by in over 17 years that he hasn’t told me I’m beautiful.

He changed diapers, scoops poop, walks dogs, makes my coffee Every.Single.Morning, puts up with my crazy antics, tolerates the fact that I don’t like to cook, and how I always leave that one cabinet door open. His family is awesomesauce, (yes, even my MIL!) and he didn’t care that I didn’t want a wedding. I’m in absolute awe of his patience and tenacity, and I’m so proud of the husband, father, and bad-to-the-bone mountain biking athlete he is.

my bad-ass better half

my bad-ass better half

If you know me, you know I’m not a mushy girl. This post is probably the mushiest thing I’ve ever done for him. To this day, I’ve only mustered the L-word a few times, you know, on very special occasions. We don’t throw it around like “hello” and “goodbye”. In fact, we literally say “L-word” in lieu of the other three words. If I do say “it”, I have to throw in cuss words to make it sound less fluffy. I’m adorable like that.

Fortunately, he’s the same way, although he’d admit to being the more sentimental one. In fact, it’s uncanny how alike we are. There’s no doubt in my mind that Halloween night of 1996 wasΒ Devine Intervention. The Universe…or maybe guardian angels…making sure I got someone who would take care of me (and all my crazy animals) forever.

So without further ado, Happy Halloweenaversary, Jim. I fucking love the shit outta you. (I tried, but I still have to cuss. Some things never change)

*This post is part of Friday’s Finish the Sentence Blog Hop, hosted by Finding Ninnee, Kate Whinehall, Mommy is For Real and Confessions of a Mommyaholic

Finish the Sentence Friday

38 comments

  1. Such a sweet and nice story, but love the way you ended it. Totally a girl after my own heart with the cursing!! Happy Anniversary to you both and Happy almost Halloween, too. So glad you did indeed join us this week! πŸ™‚

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      1. we had a one eyed cat when I was a kid. a stray that we fed and he stayed for awhile. i dont know how he lost one of his eyes. i dont remember his name so I will remember him as cyclops.

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  2. Eight. Cats? Yer mad!

    And also AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHH at all the soppiness (yes, even the cursing). Such a cute meeting story, and he sounds like an absolutely incredible guy.

    You struck lucky there πŸ˜€

    (also, chewing gum in bed? You disgusting thing! :p )

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    1. if you ask Jim, he swears there were 9, but that was a stray named #9 that was only wandering around my porch for a few days, he was never mine, I SWEAR! haha! it’s so funny cuz he read my post and saw the photo of the cats (from a stock photo site) and asked, “are those our cats?” haha! that’s how our house looked! lol

      I definitely struck gold.

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    1. nope, no mas el gatos. We’ve been cat free for almost 2 years now, and even though I’m extremely weak and would probably have another by now, the hubs said HELL-TO-THE-NO and I can’t say I blame him. He paid his dues! We just have milo now.

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  3. You are making my set of 4 cats seem perfectly normal. And I caught a good guy too, when I . met my husband 28 years ago. Glad we both have good radar to skip the bad boys when it’s time to get serious! And I am not at all sentimental, but trust me, never miss a chance to say I LOVE YOU to your husband, your kids, your parents. No cussing. Cause it will mean a lot one day, and you don’t know what day that will be. πŸ™‚

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    1. I’m jealous of your 4 cats cuz I miss mine, but not the litter boxes. Or the hair balls.

      I do unabashedly say I LOVE YOU every single day to my little ones, and you’re right about making sure your loved ones know how you feel….cuz you never, ever know. Thanks for reading, my friend. MWA!

      P.S. went through a few bad-boys before I realized what to look for in a man!! Whole other story though…..

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  4. Happy Anniversary! I f#cking love this! (I have no problem cussing but once got thrown into spam comments for somebody for like a month since my first comment on her site had the f word in it). What a sweet story! And eight cats? Hm. Yeah, sorry but that’s nuts. Or well. Maybe totally normal. πŸ˜‰

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    1. hee hee! I heart you big time, Kristi! F-bombs will never get kicked out of my comments fer sher!

      Yes, 8 cats is bananas. It just is. I know it. they jus kept having babies. and I was young…and stupid…and didn’t get them spayed in time….sigh. but I stopped. that’s the important thing. I took care of them (spayed, shots, etc.) and stopped “collecting” cats. haha! they were wonderful. every one of them. πŸ™‚

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  5. This post gave me warm fuzzies and I also just busted a gut thinking about your Nicolette gum in his armpit hair. Like seriously, still laughing over here.

    Also, 8 cats?! That’s like Angela from The Office. Did you dress them up in outfits and take family portraits? πŸ˜‰

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    1. haha! Glad this gave you a laugh at work, Aussa. Yeah, the gum in the armpit hair still make me laugh so hard I snort. God, that was funny.

      I know, I know. 8 cats is bananas. HA! Angela. No, I didn’t dress them up, but they were family….there are a gazillion photos of them fer sher!! πŸ™‚

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    1. well it would have much worse had it ended up in “other” hair…LOL. It rolled outta my mouth in my sleep. So funny. I still laugh so hard about it I could pee. He had to cut all his pit hair off. LOLOLOL.
      Thank you for the anniversary wishes. πŸ™‚

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    1. They don’t say it’s a magical night for nothing! Oh, they don’t say that do they….that’s Christmas. They say Halloween is scary as hell. Oh well. I tried. yeeeaaa halloweeeniversaries……:)

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  6. Aww, what a beautiful story. And I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only crazy cat lady around. I don’t have eight but I do have… a few. And luckily my significant loves them too.

    Happy 17 years!

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      1. haha! Dumbass…that’s hysterical! I love it! All ours had real names and nicknames, too. The funniest nickname in our crew was probably “Stinky B”. LOL. They’re really family, which is so cool.

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    1. hahaha FIVE! I love it! You’re definitely a woman after my own heart! I bet they are so precious, and also very grateful to be saved. That’s awesomesauce!!! I don’t think the cat status reaches craziville until 10 or more. I just decided that. Your welcome. πŸ™‚

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    1. Thanks, J.C.! Yeah, two cats is a handful at times. Eight is four handfuls ALL the time. Fortunately, there were only that many for a few years. The numbers dwindled as the years went on….but then they got old and we had four seniors – UGH. I think that was almost worse!

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  7. Good hubbies are definitely worth their weight in gold. Mine also has a really stressful job, but he rarely lets it get to him. We also didn’t have a “real” wedding. It was a mutual decision. We got married in Vegas instead! So Happy Halloweenaversary to both of you.

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  8. Awwwww. You are a very lucky woman! I’m always amazed when I hear about chance encounters that completely change people’s lives. It almost makes me want to venture outside the house to — gasp! — socialize once in a while πŸ˜‰

    I wandered over here after searching your blog for cats, just to see if you were a cat person. I think I found my answer. Eight of them, in fact.

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    1. *shakes head* I still sometimes can’t believe I ever had that many. But, let me tell you. If it weren’t for the hubs saying NEVER EVER AGAIN, I’d have another kitty. LUUUUUURVE KITTIES. I love my dog, too, but that’s because he’s sort of a cat-dog in personality.

      And YES. I would’ve been holed up in my apartment that night if my friend hadn’t urged me to come out with her, and OMG I meet my future husband! Awesomesauce.

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