Lucy! You’ve Got Some ‘Splaining To Do!

I think every relationship has a Lucy and a Ricky. The Lucy obviously being the one who’s always getting into trouble, having to be reminded of everything, can be expected to screw up, etc. In our marriage, that’s yours truly. Or it was. Until this past Spring….

My husband and his buddy decided they could build a patio cover for our existing arbor by themselves. Who needs professionals, right? They had “built stuff” before and owned lots of tools, that’s all it requires, right? With an almost cocky confidence and a case of beer, they set off to make a patio cover. I begged Jim to call someone qualified was slightly doubtful, but tried to be optimistic. After all, this DIY project had the potential to save us thousands of dollars.

My Bob Vilas

My Bob Vilas working hard

For two solid weekends they toiled on our arbor until announcing it was finished. They couldn’t wait for the first rain to test their labor of love. We all stood underneath the patio, anxiously looking up. Hey, no leaks! It actually worked! They patted themselves on the back and strutted like peakcocks for days.

About a month later we had torrential rain for a solid week. One morning I stepped on the tile at the backdoor to let the dog out, and it squished under my feet! Water was bubbling through the grout! As I inspected the area (in a panic at this point) I noticed a giant bulge in the drywall over the door.

Uh...dear...I think there's a problem

Uh…dear…I think there’s a problem

Turns out there wasn’t enough of an incline for rainwater run-off because my Bob-the-Blunders didn’t think the type of shingles they used would need it. Also, in their infinite wisdom, they hadn’t put up splash guard, so now gallons of rainwater was being absorbed by porous grout and sucked into our house….along the entire length of the family room. I suddenly could relate with Walter from Money Pit, in that delirious moment when the bathtub falls through the floor and he comes completely unglued in hysterical fits of laughter.

we didn't need that money anyway

we didn’t need that money anyway

What I didn’t realize until months of tile replacement, cussing, caulking, check writing, ranting quiet meditation was the gift this colossal F#@* UP truly was. In that moment, every idiotic thing I’d done up to that point was erased. I was a clean slate, and frankly, would never have to worry about doing stupid shit again, because nothing ever, ever, never, ever is going to trump the time Jim rotted the back of the house off.

I’m the new Ricky, and damn if these pants aren’t comfortable!

Does your relationship have a Ricky/Lucy dynamic? If so, which are you? Have you or your other half ever done anything SO bad the tables turned? DO TELL!

49 comments

  1. Hahaha!! This is awesome. I am normally Lucy. When we had recently discovered I was pregnant, I thought perhaps my husband would come home from work with flowers or something. But after a little while it was obvious he had totally forgotten about the good news. I said “You totally forgot I’m pregnant, didn’t you?” Busted. He apologized profusely but I was like “Don’t worry about it. I look forward to playing the ‘you forgot I was pregnant’ card for the rest of our lives.” Yes, it’s good when your partner messes up:)

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  2. I’m going to laugh about this one for a while! You kill me with your stories – you are too funny…”Jim rotted the back of the house off!” I can’t stop even though I’m more than sure it was awful! I am the Lucy, most definitely. Jeff (hubby dearest) never screws up and when he does, he has an incredible talent for making someone else think they are somehow responsible. It sounds like he’s an a-hole, but really, it’s a pretty impressive skill! Thanks for the laugh…again!

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  3. At first glance, most people would think I’m the flighty one always getting into messes. I’m loud and never stop moving, while he is quiet, detail oriented, and extremely intelligent. However, my husband is the one who does not have the ability to think things through, then panics when something goes wrong. I have to simultaneously calm him down and solve the problem every time.

    Since you asked, here’s an example from last winter.

    http://a-fly-on-our-chicken-coop-wall.blogspot.com/2013/01/morning-well-work-on-good-part.html

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  4. Hahaha that’s true love, I tell you. I would never think of such things when trying to build something– which is precisely why all my tools are for decoration only. I’m not married so I’m not sure I can fully answer the questions, but so far I am usually the one having meltdowns and needing to be rescued so I’m pretty sure I’m the one doin’ the ‘splaining.

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  5. My husband and I both wear those pants. He says really stupid things. REALLY stupid things. But I”m kind of a space cadet. So, we swap, like good people do in a marriage 🙂

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    1. haha! I like how you say REALLY stupid things. Care to share a hilarious example? dying to know….
      It’s nice that you two are even steven with the lucy/desi dynamic….super cool!

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    1. I’m hoping he’s learned that after this debacle, but I fear otherwise. Evidently just last night the dynamic duo were talking of other things to build onto our house….I’m wish I were kidding….

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  7. When it comes to home improvement, I’m the Lucy. My husband won’t let me forget how I spackled a hole using a plastic knife–the serrated side. I still argue that the wall had a very nice texture. 🙂

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  8. Oh my word – yet again you have managed to step into my shoes. I can so see this happening to me.
    I would have to say I am the Lucy and my late husband was the Desi. His dad was Super Desi. A contractor ( FIL) – he worked feverishly on renovating our basement. I was constantly guilted into offering myself as an assistant. The one time he gave in – “sure Kelly, you can apply the undercoat on the freshly installed drywall over the stairs.” We’re talking ceiling over the stairwell. I thought I was going along fine – tolerating his “less energy, more paint” advice – until I actually looked over my head. The ceiling of freshly laid drywall was littered with dots the size of quarters. I’d created them with the end of the roller …

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    1. OMG that’s so funny! I’m telling you I have had this problem before with the end of a roller! I despise painting! UGH. I’ve painted countless rooms and those tight corners are so tough. but I’ve never damaged newly laid drywall…haha! very funny, Kelly….

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  11. I’m a pretty handy guy myself but after a few blunders I let the pro’s handle the big jobs. I’ll just stand back and watch with a cold beer and check for their services! It’s easier that way.

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  13. Beth! This is a very awesome story! We had a whole home remodel when we moved in. To save money, hubs let some buddies do a little of the plumbing. Needless to say, THOUSANDS of dollars later, we all learned that PVC pipe does not mesh to ABC (or something) pipe. Ever. We’ve had to tear down walls getting to this stuff. Awesome. So glad you’re liking your Desi pants 😀

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  14. Ha! LMFAO. Well, though I’m not married, I always thought mine and Mathair’s business relationship was very much like Lucy and Desi. We usually take turns being Lucy. Today was my day. LOL

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    1. I know, right? Not only do will I accept help, I’m more than happy for someone else to do ALL the work. It must be the lack of Y chromosome that makes us willing to hire out. You know what they say…there’s no Y in DIY…oh, wait, yes there is. Maybe they don’t say that. Shhh.

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    1. I know! I don’t even think we should pick out our own furniture anymore. We need professionals for everything at this point. As the Desi, I can make the decisions now.

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  18. Haha! I love how you said “rotted the back of the house off”. Now instead of peacocks they’re more like turkeys? Thanks for stopping by my blog, you should totally try the banana pudding! If you do please let me know how ya liked it.

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    1. I was being quite literal…he did rot the back of the house off! UGH. The damn back door has wood rot even. Don’t even get me started…..

      I’m totally going to make that pudding. In fact, I have to bring a dessert for Thanksgiving and I wanted to do a departure from the norm. I think I found it! I’ll take photos and put them on FB and also send to you!

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  19. Love Love Love the Walter reference – one of my all time favorite movies! Hey he just said you were cheap wool!! Classic. As for the mileage you are going to get out of this, I am actually a little jealous cause seriously at this point as long as you don’t burn the house down you are golden. And even then it could be iffy.

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    1. I know, isn’t that movie the best? “honey, the care bears were here!” “BRAD! Brad, bradbobad, banana fana fo fad….” omg….I could quote it for days…

      Seriously! That’s what I’m sayin. I’m in Desi pants f-o-r-e-v-e-r. Total blessing in disguise.

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  20. I loved this post! Like you, I am the Lucy of the house: locking myself out of the house, locking my keys in the car, opening the safe to get the spare key and then locking the combination IN the safe, losing my credit card, forgetting groceries in the car, sending my child to school in pajamas only to realize “Pajama Day” is the NEXT day, running over my daughter’s new bike a week after Christmas, and the list goes on and on. Wayne, on the other hand, is very logical and responsible and has our whole life mapped out in a spreadsheet. At least I make life interesting 🙂 About 6 months ago, Wayne was on a business trip in Nashville. He and some clients were listening to live music at a bar and having a few too many drinks. When one of the musicians walked by holding his hat out asking for tips, Wayne gave a couple of dollars. Well, as the night wore on, and the drinks kept coming, he realized that his clients were being more generous with their tips than him, so he thought he’d “show off” a bit and give the guy a $10 bill (to him, that was a good tip!). After he tipped the band, he told me that they were extremely grateful and kept asking him if he had any requests. Wayne was thinking, “Wow, they are really a great group of guys.” And he was happy he tipped “big.” At the end of the night, Wayne gets a cab home and soon realizes he doesn’t have a lot of cash left to tip the driver. As he looks in his wallet to see what he can scrounge up, he said that he just about fainted…there was the $10 bill that he thought he had given the band, but his $100 bill (that he forgot to deposit before his trip) was gone! He tipped the band a hundred freakin’ dollars!!! And that’s why they were so nice to him!!! When he told me this story, I was laughing so hard, my stomach muscles hurt the next day! This is something I would do, not Mr. Responsible! And to think it pained him to give $10 🙂

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  22. I was racking my brain trying to think of any story I had in a previous relationship and came up goose eggs, Beth. My current relationship is with Phoenix and he would definitely be the Desi most of the time! I admittedly am not much of a home repair/remodel kind of guy and defer to hiring professional. But, I genuinely admire folks who do it on their own and save $$! That would have been horrifying to have the tile bubbling up….OMG. Loved the Walter (Money Pit) flashback…that totally made me laugh! 🙂

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    1. Aw, Mike, you’re so sweet. 🙂
      I think you’re very smart to pay for the pros to come in and do the dirty work! (and I’m glad you like the Milo post, too! I knew you would!)

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  23. When it comes to DIY, I am Lucy all the way. I am no longer allowed to use power tools. But I didn’t screw up as badly as your husband – so I feel a little better about how we’ve had to have professionals fix my screw up. Twice.

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    1. hahaha! no longer allowed to use power tools….uh…that’s bad! that’s Lucy all the way, Dana! And you STILL didn’t screw up as bad as my husband, even though pros had to fix up your mess ups, twice! THAT’S hysterical. That’s why I’m in Desi pants for freakin’ EVER!!!

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        1. Not exactly! The back of the house is still technically rotting off. He caulked (one of my favorite words, btw) like 40 tubes of it along the roofline. That helped, but there are still leaks. The whole thing needs to be ripped down, but somehow that hasn’t happened yet. When it rains we still get a bubble in the dry wall over the backdoor, although the tile is fixed and that area under the doors is no longer leaking. So there’s that. I take my silver linings where I can get them.
          and I’m in Desi pants…..

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