The Truth Will Set Me Free!

*LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE*

It’s time to announce the lie that would burst my pants into flames!

As a  reminder, here were your choices:

1. I once won $1,000 with a scratch off lottery ticket
2. I’ve been sky diving
3. I was expelled from high school my senior year
4. I graduated college cum laude
5. I smoked my first cigarette at the age of eight
6. I once had my tongue pierced

A Summary Of Your Guesses

Only one person thought the lie was that I graduated college with honors. The most guesses goes to the lie being me expelled from high school. Thanks for the votes of confidence! The second highest number of guesses went to the lie being me sky diving. Do I look chicken to you people? The remaining three were literally tied with four guesses each for the lie being me winning the money, smoking a cig at eight, or my tongue being pierced.

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AND NOW FOR THE TRUTH

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DRUMROLL PLEASE

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For those of you who thought me winning the money was a lie…. WRONG. I did actually win a $1000 on a measly little scratch off! For as long as I can remember, my dad has put lottery tickets in our birthday and Christmas cards. One Christmas I scratched mine off and YOWZA! Talk about surprised! We had to drive to some office and get the money because it was too much for the little mart where he’d bought them to pay out. After taxes I still got around $900. I gave my brother $100 cuz I’m kick-ass. I tried to give my dad some but he wouldn’t take it, although he let me buy him dinner with some coaxing. But my brother took the cash. He’s no dummy.

For those of you who thought me having my tongue pierced was the lie…NOPE. When I was about 24 years old I went (during the day, sober) and got my tongue pierced. At that time (this was…ahem…quite some time ago) this was not as prevalent a piercing for women as it was for men, and certainly not with anyone I knew so I shocked some people for sure. I waitressed at the time so it was a conversation starter to say the least! I wore it for several years. In fact, I had it when I met Jim! I honestly can’t remember what made me finally take it out. I guess I got tired of it.

For the one person (elleroy!) who hoped the lie was that I graduated cum laude (her logic being the truth was I actually graduated magna cum laude…sneaky!), this one was actually TRUE. It didn’t come easy, and I believe it was the result of my major being something I truly loved, but I actually did manage honors in Environmental Science. Proof that no matter how effed-up someone is when they’re a kid…there’s always hope. Woop!

Alyson…I’m sorry in advance…but the one about me smoking a cigarette at eight years old? Totally FACTUAL. I know. Awful. Both my parents smoked. My brother and I were left alone a lot. These were the latch-key days. We were little hoodlums. What will the mice do when the cat’s away? Smoke their parents’ cigarettes, that’s what. And this was when my parents were still together. After the divorce, we were really alone a lot. That’s when the trouble doubled….

Which brings me to the one about being expelled my senior year of high school. YEP. Totally true. I was expelled because I never came back after my out-of-school suspension, which I received for never completing several back-to-back in-school suspensions, which I received for skipping class. Incidentally, Jim and I went to the same HS and I remember him from suspension our junior year! (I was a frequent flyer) We were soul-troublemaker-mates! ANYway, I obviously was going through some tough times at home and otherwise. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?

*sidenote: That summer I got a job, borrowed a little money from my grandma and got some sweet wheels (Sweet is relative. It was a used VW Rabbit), enrolled in an alternative school, and worked my ass off to graduate only three months after my friends. LIKE A BOSS.

So that leaves only one thing! The BIG FAT HAIRY LIE! I have never, ever been sky diving! This was second highest in guesses so kudos to you all! I have no desire to sky dive; however, I would choose it over bungee jumping every single time. WILL NOT bungee. No way. Could vomit just thinking about it. I can actually see the appeal in sky diving. I don’t think I’ll ever do it, but I’d also never say never. Except about bungee jumping. Never.

Thanks for playing along everyone! I hope that was as much fun for you as it was for me! #ThatsWhatSheSaidLastNight #Sorry #HadTo

Are any of these your truths? Do you have things in your life that are stranger than fiction? Have you ever had to tell a white lie that snowballed into a big one? I heart your comments BIG!

59 comments

  1. AAAAGGHHHH I lose! *rips clothes, throws ashes on head*
    I totally pegged you as someone who would have gone sky diving– we need to remedy this because for someone reason… I haven’t either. What!
    2014 New Years Resolution right there.

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    1. I just threw up in my mouth a little. Here’s the secret/key with me: I’m very impulsive. You have to catch me in one of those *yeah! let’s do this!* moments. We can’t plan it. If we were hanging out and you just said, “Beth! We should totally go sky diving RIGHT. NOW.” I would nod my head furiously and be all, “YES. Let’s go, this instant, Aussa!”

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  2. I also smoked when quite young, we thought we were the coolest kids, sneaking cigarettes down by the stream. we also did a lot of other really bad things but that is another story.

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    1. I think we grew up very similar Mike. Except instead of a stream we played in the sewer drain. Wish I were kidding. You and I could probably write a book titled, Bad Kids Don’t Always End Up Living In A Van Down By The River

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        1. haha! I’m digging your aspirations. My kids watch those “finding bigfoot” shows. One 4th of July we all sat and watched a marathon of them. Great. Ness. My 6yo has that bigfoot call down pat. When we were in Colorado over the summer he was doing the call in the woods. Scared the crap outta some people I bet!

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  3. Bwahahahahaha!! You’re so lucky you actually won 1k! Buuuuuut I’m kinda disappointed you didn’t skydive. Or bungee. Cos I would’ve thought you’d totally be up for that! However, as a second best ‘Beth Didn’t Do This’ I don’t mind too much, cos it means you DID do all the other stuff, you badass!

    😀

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    1. LOL. I’m sorry I sort of disappointed you! I thought you’d have this one so easy cuz I mentioned before how I used to be terrified to fly and would even cry! Who would go sky diving when they barely just got over their fear of flying? Eeeeeek! I’m very impulsive though so you never know…..it could still happen!

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      1. Okay well I missed that. Shall we pretend I didn’t miss it and you’re not mad at me for missing it, and I’ll rescind the disappointment? Is that a deal?

        You should be careful who you trust with that information. Impulsive people can be highly suggestible, and that knowledge in the wrong hands…

        *cackles with glee*

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        1. No worries – I probably posted about my fear of flying before you even read my blog. Twas the early days….

          I am in dangerous hands! Eeeeeek! *eyes twinkle* *loves trouble*

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  4. LOVED this post! I feel like I got to know you pretty damn well in a short period of time with these 5 AWESOME truths! You are one fiesty, kick-ass broad! I LOVE that you were expelled from high school — but graduated cum laude from college! Tongue-piercing, childhood smoking, and Christmas gambling are pretty bad-ass too! You’re definitely someone I’d enjoy joining for a drink/karaoke night/bank heist!

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    1. Thanks Darcy! I’m down with ALL that except maybe the bank heist….I try to limit things that would necessitate jail time these days, you know, with the kids and all. Lol. Thanks for reading!

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  6. I drank my first can of beer at 7 and passed out under dad’s truck in the parking lot of a Catholic church, so that’s pretty sweet. Your list of truths rock. I thought I won $10,000 on a scratch off once, but it turned out to be a hoax. Thanks for that, grandma.

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  9. Oh how I have just had SO much fun playing this “game” with you!!! You and I would have been BESTIES in HS, Beth. Seriously- could probably bond for HOURS over those years… and NOW look at us? All responsible and stuff…

    What doesn’t kill ya. Amen sister! 😉

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    1. Exactly, Christine! So you too, eh? Some crazy years? Good to know it wasn’t just me! That always makes me feel better. And yeah, I shined up real nice. ha!

      SO thankful I’ve met you in the bloggy world! I heart you BIG already!!!

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  10. Do you have a “photocopy” of that winning ticket? I want proof. I thought for sure that was the one lie because it’s the one thing you have no control over. Wow – ya got me! Love, love this post. Thank you for revealing the big truth so quickly too. I was a wonderin’ !
    Ok – one for you. Was I kicked out of my grade 12 typing class at the Convent?

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    1. You know, since I read your comment I’ve been scouring my brain….and I don’t think I do! Even though I know you don’t really want me to cough up evidence, I was wondering if I got to keep it (I don’t see why I couldn’t of) but don’t recall having it. Hmmm. It was a loooong time ago! Before kids….maybe ’99? Not sure. Anyhoo, yes it was CArazy and very very exciting!!

      Oh and HELL YES you were kicked out of your grade 12 typing class! But I wanna know WHY???? What did you do Kelly??? *drums fingers waiting*

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    1. I know Ashley! I gave up a long time ago, I always feel like such a SUCKER buying them! I don’t think I’ve ever won more than $2 or maybe $5 on one before or after that BIG win. It was really exciting!!

      It’s funny about sky diving. I do think about the kids, but my husband does daring stuff all the time (summiting mountains, skydiving, dangerous biking, etc) and never thinks about that stuff. Is it a woman thing?

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  12. It’s a good thing we didn’t know each other in high school. I was the goody-two-shoes who never did anything wrong. I would have just pitied you and your bad choices. NOW, though, I can appreciate the bad-ass you were.
    I enjoyed this little game.

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    1. I lost friends like you in HS….Rightly so. They were better off without me! Some I’ve reconnected with now and they seem to not even remember or care about my “less than ideal” past, which is amazing and validating in a wonderful way. Maybe I left them more than they left me. When you think you can’t shine you tend to avoid those that do. You know what I mean?

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  14. Always good to meet a fellow hell raising bad kid all grown up and not living in van down by the river! I completely agree with you on never, ever bunging jumping. What are those people thinking?!? Sky diving, yeah not likely either, but there’s a slight, teeny-tiny maybe.

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    1. So glad we are on the same page with the bungee vs. sky diving! Some people think they’re one in the same, but they’re SO different! I can’t even watch people bungee on TV without getting queasy! GAH!

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  15. I can’t remember what I guessed, but I’m pretty sure it was the high school one, and I vaguely remember saying something about sky diving? At any rate, my brain hasn’t been working for some time, so I still enjoyed the post!

    I was unsupervised a lot too. I look back on it and think, ‘Wow. It’s kind of crazy I’m still alive.’ Like the time I set the lawn on fire, or my brother climbed on the roof to see if he could see a tornado forming.

    That kind of thing.

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  16. hahaha! Will you puleeze tell me this story?? pretty please with sugar on top? Were you playing with matches? How big did the fire get? How old were you? I deserve details, Katie! You said you were going to haunt me when you’re dead! I mean, GAH!

    BTW, totally something my brother would have done, too!

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  17. Oh I read it wrong. I thought only one of them was true so I guessed the lottery ticket because I knew that was possible. My dad one scratch off money one time. We normally drove or took the train from SC to PA in the summer to see family but we got to FLY. That was a big deal. One truth no one would ever guess – I smoked for a bit. I was 17 stopped around 20.

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    1. I love that you shared a truth! You rock! Yeah, I smoked on and off from high school till I was about 27. I freakin’ chewed nicorrette for a YEAR to quit, but finally kicked the nasty habit. My mom quit about 15 years ago…maybe longer? My dad still smokes. It’ll be what kills him. So sad.

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  18. This was sooo much fun to read! I had a feeling it was the expulsion! I once got suspended my junior year for fighting … when I got back my English teacher kept on calling me “Rocky.” I was very embarrassed, but in retrospect I should have owned it! 🙂 Sharing this now….

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    1. Wow – you got expelled for fighting in JH? That is pretty bad-ass, girl! I’ve never ever been in a real physical fight. Well, except with my brother, but siblings don’t count. And I was always throwing things at him like scissors and bolt locks. Scratched him a lot. I never punched him in the face or anything. But the bolt lock did leave a mark. And the scissors did stick in the wall right behind him. Ah hormones….

      I’m sure the other girl (or boy?) you fought had it coming, though. Care to elaborate? I’d love to hear the juicy details!

      Thanks for the share! I appreciate it! MWA!

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    1. haha! That’s funny. You’d skydive, Karen? I’m impressed. I think I’d like to hot air balloon. I’ve heard it’s beautiful and really peaceful. I just haven’t carved out the time (or mula) to do it, but I would.

      Yeah, parents kind of have that strong arm over the tuition, huh? I paid for mine myself (college) so that wouldn’t have worked on me. Oh, and I clearly didn’t do anything she told me anyway. Poor woman.

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  21. OK – now we have to get you bungee jumping and jumping out of a plane at the same time! That would be cool!

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  22. my whole freaking life is stranger than fiction! SO the other day I grabbed my mail as I ran from the house late for an appointment with my shrink… It turned out he was running late so I sat in his waiting room (alone) and opened a letter from England! He didn’t commit me but still….

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  23. AHAHAHHAHAHA! NO way…do NOT even tell me you got glitterbombed in your shrink’s waiting room?!?! That is just freakin’ epic. I bet Lizzi loved that. You’re right, Lizzi couldn’t have written that any better!

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  24. A little late to the dance – but for the record, I would have guessed wrong… I was gonna go with tongue piercing – logic being, you’d have thought about it, but just never done it. I considered it briefly, but I think they hit as a thing about two years too late as I’d already finished college/entered professional world. Wouldn’t really have worked… sigh.

    But agreed on skydiving. No. Way!

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    1. Never too late to join the party! thanks for playing – you’re awesomesauce! A lot of people guessed tongue piercing. Your logic makes total sense! Yeah, those professionals don’t care much for facial adornment, do they? lol. Understandable I guess. 🙂

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