Nudie Resorts And The Ass Dance

You probably saw the title and thought, “definitely a Beth post”, but this time the words aren’t mine, I swear! I have to thank Sandy for inspiring me to look up search terms people have used that led to my blog. According to some of the searches, these people are perverted weirdos. No problem there. That there’s my tribe.

 

1. Beth Teliho Sex (Someone actually typed that. Into a search engine. Who? Why? I’m dying to know.)

2. Butt Dance Ass Video (I’m thinking that led to me because of this)

3. Nudie Colorado Resorts (uhhh, you got me. No idea.)

4. Big Hairy Balls (There were a shit-ton of searches involving balls, and I know it came from this.)

5. Hairy Balls Blog (Yep, that’d be me.)

6. Hairy Testicle Blog (Told you there were a lot. I’m oddly proud of this.)

7. Oh Yeah Harder Harder (No doubt. That led here because of this.)

8. Adam Levine Scruff (duh) (Wait, maybe HE searched Beth Teliho Sex!?)

adam levine photo: adam-levine- adam-levine--1.jpg

*lick*

9. Everyone Knows The Stripper Destiny (WTF? What does that even mean? Is there a stripper destiny? Or is there a stripper named Destiny? And why did it lead here? These are my questions.)

10. Migraine Demon Biting Your Head (I’ve mentioned migraines many times on the blog, and if someone used those words, then they know migraines are exactly like a demon biting your head, so I feel very bad for them and hope they find some relief. That was a run-on sentence, I know.)

I’m most excited about the fact that someone searched Adam’s name and it led to me. What if he googles himself one day, and it leads here, and he contacts me, and we have hot, dirty, passionate sex a nice talk, and he falls in love with me, and we get married and have little Levine babies! You never know. It could happen. Shut up.

I’m most surprised there weren’t more searches involving boobs. I talk about boobs all the time. I have to keep it even with all the balls talk, right? Equal opportunity with things round and dangly here at Writer B is Me. (Adam would love that joke.)

So what about you? Any funny or unusual search terms for your blog? I can’t wait to read about them!

149 comments

  1. Oh my gawd – I do apologise for not stopping by sooner. Been busy over on my site fussing over the duller than dull searches. Opened some wine, drank some wine, had a little more wine. Well you get the idea. Enough wining. Feeling very refreshed after getting my Beth fix. Bless you.

    Like

  2. I used to have a blog called That Clumsy American Girl.

    That’s a story for another day…

    Anyway, without fail I would get a large amount of views from people searching “clumsy girl porn”. I never understood what that was unless it was stuff like “Whoops! Oh no sir, I fell on you and that just slipped right in there!”

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  3. Mine are more baffling than funny, although I get my share of the pervs. I’m kind of hesitant to share though, because ever since you and I had a discussion of duck butt hair, I’ve had the misfortune of seeing the do everywhere… I mean, I wouldn’t want more pervs showing up to my blog by some cosmic serendipity.

    Then again, traffic is traffic…

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    1. OMG HAHAHAHA eat my ass fudge is legendary greatness! I’m jealous that’s not one of my search terms. Maybe should put random tags that make no sense with my post to try and lure eat my ass fudge.

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  4. Migraine Demon Biting Your Head <<<<<<<<< BAH!!!!

    That is too freaking funny. I too used to suffer from migraines (until I began my homeopathic, holistic all natural pain regimen that I can't disclose, but suffice to say, I don't get migraines any more).

    Hilarious keywords searches. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You can’t disclose it? *bites knuckles* but now I wanna knoooooow!

      Very glad you don’t get them anymore. I was on Topamax for about 5 years, but just quit taking them over the Christmas holiday. I’ve had two since then. Not bad! I used to get an avg. of 3/month, and of course they each lasted a minimum of 2 days….that’s a shitty quality of life. I’m thrilled I’m no longer on Topamax. It gave me pretty bad memory loss symptoms.

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      1. There’s a reason they call it “Dopomax”- ha. The doctor put me on it and after 8 days, I went into acute respiratory failure: scared the crap out of me! It felt like I was drowning in “air syrrup”- it was bizarre, but I felt like I was dying, literally. I can’t imagine what 5 years would have done to me- I would have been dead within the first year. (I’m guessing I was allergic to it.) And no, two migraines since Christmas is not bad at all. I’ve had about 3. Definitely reason to celebrate. :0)

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  5. Hummmm….deep thinking slow drinking cold glass on forehead clinking….I’ve no experience none no exaggeration, of, how to lead people to a blog. I seem to have an innate ability to do the opposite, if ever you need that sense of isolation let me know haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha thanks for the offer. I sometimes DO want that sense of isolation, but not here on the blog Thanks for stopping by! I see you EVERYWHERE. I’m sort of thrilled to see you here, not gonna lie. 🙂

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      1. Pleasures all mine 😊 Loving the education. ‘Duck butt fluff’; Not sure if that’s to be taken literally, as in I’ve a 99% duck butt fluff fill sleeping bag that will keep me in the land of nod down to -20 Celsius. Or is it a euphemism for a job in animal porn? (I guess someone has to do it – shivers) And then there’s ‘ eat my ass fudge’ I’m guessing this is a ‘lost in translation / two nations divided by a common language’ type thing? At least that’s where I’m going with that (cute little kittens smelling of roses, nibbling bunnies with little wiffelling noses -a thought distraction strategy in action). Some mysteries are best left unfathomed, like fog on a Norfolk marsh in a howling gale, how’s that happen! Think my toes have lost contact with the slimy duckbuttassfudge bottom of reality…time to float

        Need a nice cuppa tea 😁

        Liked by 1 person

        1. “Some mysteries are best left unfathomed, like fog on a Norfolk marsh in a howling gale, how’s that happen! Think my toes have lost contact with the slimy duckbuttassfudge bottom of reality…time to float”

          You win comments. Period.

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