This is your brain.
This is your brain trying to write a post.
Which reminds me, I found this quiz over at Michelle’s blog and had to take it. I don’t pretend to understand the criteria, but somehow I’m worth 8 goats. I’m oddly proud of this. I mean, 8 goats is nothing to sneeze at. How many goats are you worth? Go find out. Right now. But know this: if you out-goat me we’ll be forced to have a goat-off because of my need to reign superior in all things.
ANYway, I can’t seem to have a thought like, “This is a great post idea” without my next one being, “You’re stupid and can’t write” so I decided to do a post about nothing.
*cue Seinfeld music*
While I was Googling images of goats (which makes me think of Aussa. Because…goats), I naturally ended up on The Shenis website, which also made me think of Aussa because we’ve discussed female urination devices at length. Speaking of length, I don’t know about you guys, but I have no desire for a penis this big.
This one is more my speed:
Then the thought of squatting in the woods made me think of my new favorite show on the Discovery channel, Alaskan Bush People. If you haven’t seen it, it’s about a family of nine who live deep in the Alaskan wilderness in a one room, 700 sq. foot cabin with absolutely zero modern conveniences. They live wild. WILD. They sometimes don’t see an outsider for over six months. They have their own dialect and call themselves the “wolf pack”. I have more questions than I can list here.
If you watch this show you need to tell me so we can discuss it. Because…addicted.
Then that show reminded me of Aussa’s post about the hovel she lived in (WTF Aussa? Get out of my head!), which made me think of a garage apartment in seedy East Dallas I called home back in the early 90’s. It was about the size of a small bedroom with a tiny adjoining bathroom. No kitchen. No closet. No heat. One small window unit for AC. We had to secure the front door with bungee cord during storms because it didn’t shut all the way. I lived there with three cats, and three other people. The one room functioned as the family room, bedroom, dining room, pantry, closet, and kitchen. Nothing like waiting for someone to get out of the shitter so you can rinse your soup bowl in the tub. Then it hit me:
I was a toilet and mini-fridge away from having my own reality show.
“Join us next week on Dallas Bush People when Beth’s cat gives birth to six kittens in her dresser drawer.”
Oh yeah, I smell hit series here…..
Have you ever lived somewhere you wouldn’t even let your dog live in now? Would you use a female urination device? How many goats are you worth?