I feel very restricted by the internet today. What I really want to do is jump out from behind a door and yell, “HEY! I HAVE ALL KINDS OF SHIT TO TELL YOU!” I’d have a giant creepy grin on my face and it would scare you so bad you’d pee a little, and we’d laugh….and laugh….
But I can’t do that. Mostly cuz I don’t know where you live, and there’s that whole trespassing thing. Just picture it okay? Envision me jumping out from behind a door like a lunatic. Ready? OKAY NOW
HEY! I HAVE ALL KINDS OF SHIT TO TELL YOU!
(I’m picturing you like this and laughing my ass off)
The hubs and I have always identified our cars based on the words (or noises) we could make out of the license plates. For instance, our 4 Runner was the Sex Beast because of the combination of letters/numbers 69 BJ. Imagine my jubilee when I received plates for my Sequoia and the actual letters were WTF.
How fucking epic is that? Me. Getting WTF plates….that was no accident. That was the Universe smiling down on me in all its poetic glory.
*cue sad music*
Last week new plates arrived in the mail. WHAT? The WTF-Mobile is no more? I opened the envelope and gazed upon my car’s new identity. If the Universe smiled down on me before, it just took a giant crap on my head and neutered my car. The letters are: DMY
Dummy.
I’ve totally lost all my street cred. *sulks*
BUT THEN, I got this tweet from my blog wife, Lizzi. Nothing does more for a poopy mood than an hour on Pinterest searching hotties. Because….beards. (that link goes to my *special* board. If you haven’t visited it yet….uh….you need to) And thank you Lovely Lizzi for turning my frown upside-down.
In other news, I bought a Fitbit, so now I have another electronic device that I’m married to. I’m obsessed with it, and I think I’ve become a Calorie-Nazi. Speaking of that, have you ever heard of PB2? It’s a game-changer. Dry, ground peanuts you mix with water to make peanut butter with 85% fewer calories and fat. And it comes in chocolate, too. I know! (Gawd, did I really just write about low-cal food? *shakes head* What has become of me??)
Wanna know what else I’m excited about?
IT’S MY ONE YEAR BLOGAVERSARY!
I feel like doing this with all my bloggy buddies
one year, 94 posts
and people actually read my shiz
*Mind Blown*
So to you, readers and fellow bloggers, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my little writer’s soul. You’ve made this year an absolute gift. The solidarity I’ve found on difficult subjects such a mental illness, abuse, self-esteem, and depression has been utterly overwhelming. You laughed at all my silliness. The writing support has been inspiring and validating in ways I can hardly put into words. The pride I feel about being involved with the Sisterwives Speak blog is abyssal. And the friends I’ve made are unexpected treasures that I’ll value forever. xoxoxo
*drops mic and struts away*
Beth Teliho 
Awesome awesome awesome – Happy Blogiversary!!!! I’m so happy we crossed paths!!! And I’m really sorry about your license plates. That sucks ass. Fingers crossed for the next one!
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Thanks, Molly!! I’m so happy we crossed paths too!! You’re amazing.
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You are AWESOME. That’s what your license plate needs to say! Or BdAZZ or KckAZZ or something else to signify your awesomeness. Happy one year anniversary! Woo hoo!
And now I need to check out your Pinterest bearded hot guys page. I love a good scruffy face. My man shaves for meetings and stuff but otherwise has a nice salt and pepper facial growth and it is HOTTTT. I can barely look at him when he’s all baby faced smooth. I know that’s mean and it kinda hurts his feelings because I make mean comments when he shaves, he still looks good but not quite as yummy… I just realized I talked for a whole paragraph about facial hair. I’ll stop now.
Also, I read your SisterWives post and I am going back over there to comment and reread. I have been out of the loop with house guests and vacation and didn’t have a chance to comment but I can’t not comment…
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GRETCHEN!! I adore you. Mandi (celllulitelooksbettertan) and I were just talking about the bloggers we have exceptional admiration/love for and you were the 2nd one we mentioned. SECOND. How cool is that? you are loved, grrrl.
Super jelly that yer hubby doesn’t have to shave!!! You’re soooo lucky. I love my hubs with some scruff.
also? You’re incredibly sweet to also go read my SW post. *hugs*
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You guys are so sweet! That is very cool and makes me feel all warm and happy… And the feeling is completely mutual. Samara is the first SW I got to know months and months ago and I fell in love with her when I read her blog but then even more so as I got to know her better. And through her I got to know you and Mandi and Lizzie… and now I feel like I know all these amazing and smart and talented women. It is really probably the coolest unexpected thing about blogging… *hugs* to you too and thank you for saying that….
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xoxo
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Happy Blogaversary, B!
I have been (and mostly still am) MIA, but I am trying to come back, I promise. XXOO Hugs, Roby
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ROBY!! *happy dance* I saw your name and smiled so big!!! I’ve been blogging SO much less this summer, too, but ya know? Sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do, right?
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I have the same big smile when I see yours! I have barely even been reading, but saw this and had to chime in to celebrate.
Word. We do what we do. 🙂
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and I respect you for that. If you hadn’t run over when you saw WTF, BJ’s and Beards…..well, I would’ve worried about you.
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Heehee!
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Happy One Year Blogiversary! I’ll put on my old stripper outfit and hide behind a door to surprise you. Maybe the pizza guy….or the cop…. or the EMT. Hmmm…..
Maybe the cop so I can frisk you. Or slap on the cuffs. 😉
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oooooh the cop. Pweeze the cop. I’ve been a very bad girl. 🙂
(thx phil!)
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I think you need a body cavity search!
Bend over and assume the position!
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….waits to be searched….
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Happy blogiversary! Wishing you (and me) lots and lots more years of silliness.
BTW, why couldn’t you keep your old WTF plates? Because honestly, I would keep those forever and a day.
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I know, right? I kept them….but they’re forever immortalized on my garage wall. I think the Texas gov’t was just being a big bully. I deserve those plates! My poor SUV. But, we have been calling it the “Don’t Mess Yourself” car instead of Dummy, which is good. Well, not good, but better.
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Happy blogiversary! I can’t believe it’s been a year. The time, she flies, right?
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Aw, thanks, Natalie! I loved seeing pics of you in BlogHer! I hope to go next year and meet awesomeness like you!!
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Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one who makes my licence plate into words so I can remember it. My latest plate is a complete dig to my hubby, but he takes it all in stride!
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Oh, a fellow plate-namer! Cool. And I love that yours is a dig on the hubs. *bossnod*
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Haha, Sex Beast! And, why, why did your license plate change — new car? It’s tragic!
By the way, it my one year anniversary blogging too! x
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Our insurance agent is named BJ willy. I can’t make this shit up.
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