What am I supposed to be doing? Packing. What am I actually doing? You’re lookin’ at it. I can’t help it! I have so much shit to tell you again, and I can’t possibly leave the state before writing this post! Let’s begin, shall we? *clears throat*

Last Thursday, this happened in the downstairs bathroom:

snake baby photo: baby rat snake P5010020.jpg

This is not “the” snake. I would never have a rifle in my bathroom. Probably.

A baby rat snake. Not too alarming. Snakes happen, and this one was a tiny baby. I scooped it into a box (while it continually struck at it) and let it go safely into the garden. And then, five hours later, it happened AGAIN in my kitchen. Could it be the same baby snake? If so, howthefuck did it figure out how to get back into my house? Why did it want in there so bad? OR. What if it’s not the same one? What if there’s a mom rat snake in my walls or cabinetry having babies?

We would have to sell the house.


terrified scream photo: terrified scream run tumblr_ms73k9f8ZH1s2mis6o1_400_zpse6513548.gif


The following day, I’m pruning in the garden on the side of the house, when I find this:

Ya’ll. I peed a little.

Approximately four milliseconds later, I realize it’s my son’s rubber snake. Soon thereafter,  a two-day-prank-fest ensued. There was a lot of screaming.


Only 24 hours after the SNAKE APOCALYPSE, this showed up in our backyard:



The most beautiful, sweet, cuddly, well-behaved husky pup I’ve ever seen. She was about a year old probably, and unfortunately (for my neutered dog who was treated like a cheap whore on nickel night) in heat. We had her for about 18 hours before we located her *owners (who live on my friggin’ block!). In that 18 hours, we fell in love. Not just admiration. LOVE. Like, my kids cried when she was picked up. Like, I think about her everyday. Like, I searched Husky Rescue sights for 2 hours the next morning, hoping to find one just like her to adopt. Like, I walk my dog by her house and try to telepathically communicate to her, willing her to escape again and come “home”.

I mean, we’re not lunatics. It’s not like we named her or anything. HAHAHAHA *cough-River-cough*

*I have a rant public service announcement. NEUTER/SPAY YOUR PETS (I happen to know the owner is not planning to breed her). And for the love of all things holy, if you have any pet, much less a breed notorious for escaping, put a f#cking tag on its collar!!! Oh, and they have this brilliant thing now called microchips! DUH.

End Rant. *adjusts monocle*   (<<Maria from Behold The Infinite gave me exclusive rights to use that)

Random thoughts for no reason whatsoever:

1. F#CK OFF, chin hair! Leave me alone already!
2. I always spell acquaintance wrong and spellcheck has to yell at me. ALWAYS. (yes, even this time)
3. I guess I only had two random thoughts.

I mentioned at the start of this post that I’m supposed to be packing, which brings me to this:


Where, you ask? Oh, only my favorite place in the whole-wide-world.

grand teton national park photo: Grand Teton National Park Day7_42_zps18a555ac.jpg

Grand Teton National Park

You know what? I’m dying to share my excitement with you, and the only way I know how is to….


The rules are as follows: In comments, make your best prediction of what awkward/embarrassing thing will undoubtedly occur on the trip. The predictions can be as mundane or outlandish as you wish. I will ship a special item purchased during my trip to the winner! And yes, it’s possible to have more than one winner.

Examples from my impressive track record include, but aren’t limited to: pee my pants, walk into glass doors, fall out of canoes/kayaks/rafts, get completely lost, have my drink exit my nose, and fall flat on my ass in public. Also, once I did something too humiliating to say here. But it starts with an SH and rhymes with bart.

The possibilities are endless, really, so play along and make a guess. It’ll be fun! And if you’re on Instagram, keep an eye out for real-time photos!

Have you ever had a snake in your house? Does it drive you bat-shit when people aren’t responsible pet owners? What embarrassing thing do you just know I’m gonna do?


  1. Yep…been there! You can read MY snake story here!! I am a huge sucker for animals in general and I HATE irresponsible pet owners!!!! Grrrr I want to go out and rescue all of the kitty kats and puppy dogs who are being mistreated. SO …. I sooooo get that!!!
    As for your most embarrassing thing to happen to you this week!!?? Hmmm..
    1. A bear comes and poops on your car WHILE YOU ARE STILL IN IT!!!! HA HA HA HA!!!
    2. A snake lays eggs in your sleeping bag.
    or or or….
    3. You find a mountain lion in your bedroom wearing your underwear on its head!!
    (sorry I got a little out of hand there. I’m in a rare mood today! LMAO!)


    1. HAHAHA I lOVE RARE MOODS. My life is a rare mood. And I love your predictions, although I really hope I don’t get that close to a bear! That’s happened once before in that same location (not pooped on my car, but a far-to-close for comfort sighting).

      OHMYGOSH I just read your post and it’s eerily similar to mine! I’m also not afraid of snakes, but INMYHOUSE in a whole other story.


  2. You’re going to trip over a log and crap your pants because it’s not a log it’s another big @$$ snake! Sorry that’s the first thing that came to mind. I don’t want that to happen to you.

    We had a dog for three hours once. He was on his last leg old. I think he was at the wrong bus stop and followed the wrong kid (mine) home. We did name him Lucky (he followed Christopher home) and I was sad to see him go and mad at his stank owner when I tried to speak to Lucky when they passed by one day.


    1. OHHHH, that’s so sad they wouldn’t let you talk to Lucky! People can be such A-Holes. I bet he was a sweetie pie.

      KENYA! That’s an amazing guess. hahahahah I love it so hard!


  3. Four snakes in my house. Four. All found already dead, but they got IN there alive. Each about the size of a pencil. Black. Potential to be GIFUCKINGNORMOUS. Find a live one? I’ll be signing papers on a lease somewhere with lots of concrete before I’ve finished screaming.

    I’m going to predict peeing, but not the little piddle in your pants that feels clammy and gross but doesn’t show to the public; I’m talking full blown, run down your leg pee your pants. Not that I’m wishing that on you, but a contest’s a contest.


    1. *giggling so hard* OMG your prediction is a great one. It’s far too possible. I might do it right now.

      FOUR???? Why/how did they die?? That’s what I wanna know. I guess they could’ve starved to death if they were babies and couldn’t find food. POOR SNAKIES IN DYANNE’S HOUSE! hahaha


  4. You find a snake, trip and fall in your fear of getting away. You find a snake in your tent and pee your pants. You find a snake in your snack container and cook it for dinner served with a nice wine. Have fun on your trip!


  5. I have never had a snake in my house. My sister did once though..horrifying.

    What will you do that is embarrassing?

    Okay, this is specific, but it COULD happen.

    There will be a couple having their wedding photos taken and they will get photo-bombed by Bill Murray because apparently, that is his job now. You will be walking by and notice Bill Murray and yell, HOLY SHIT, IT’S BILL MURRAY causing the whole wedding party to look at you and the perfect picture will be ruined. Not only that, it really isn’t Bill Murray, it’s the brides uncle who only looks like Bill Murray but he hates that he looks like Bill Murray because of an unfortunate ground hog experience. This will be the straw that breaks the uncle’s back and he will become so enraged that his heart explodes and he dies. Sooo…you will ruin wedding photos and accidently kill Bill Murray’s doppleganger.

    Or you might walk into a door.


  6. We have a snake infestation. We’ve been finding them in our house for about two years now. I do not handle the situation as ethically as you did. Also, my prediction: You’ll pee in a drawer. Wasn’t that how I found you? From your pee in a drawer story? Ah, I still giggle when I think of it.


    1. OMG THAT’S RIGHT! We did meet on that post. Wow, what a first intro to me – LOL! I love it.

      Uhhhh, snake infestation? Are you serious? Like adult snakes? In your house all the time? What do you do with them….like…how do you kill them? I don’t think I could be very calm knowing there was an infestation. I would have to sell the house.


      1. I’ve blogged about it a bunch. They are mostly small, but like you, it makes me afraid the mom is here somewhere. And I’m almost never calm, lol.


  7. Nope never had a snake pop in for a visit. Although if they did they would come by the hundreds. You see they a) know I use to chop them in half with an axe (got a whole 50 cents each time from my dad up until the age of 10 or so) and b) know I can’t abide the sight of them now. Wouldn’t even advance towards them for $500.00 today thank you very much.
    Did have a dog pop in though. Cutest little Maltese ever. Brought him inside as he was whining and obviously lost. We spoiled him rotten for a few hours and vowed to find the owner in the morning. Long story short – in the middle of the night I heard a plaintive whistle and the faintest “So-phie! So-phie!” So did “Malty”. She shot up and raced for the window barking out a welcoming reply. Christ. I go to the window and there’s this couple in their night clothes – seriously – staring back at me. They thought I’d surely dognapped their Soph. Lovely. I whip open the window to reassure them and pull so hard I snap off the lock. “Give us back our dog.” was the gracious response. Am still waiting by the lockless window for a thank you…

    As for the lovely contest concept: I’ll wager you’ll fall out of the tree you scampered up due to a reunion with your downstairs bathroom visitor. Clinging to a limb you spy a sudden movement off in the distance. Why it’s not River is it? It is! She’s come to renew her acquaintance with your pup! Excited, you lean forward, she leans up, takes a hold of the hair dangling from your chin and tugs …


    1. What is it with people not being appreciative of their dog’s saviors?? It’s really offensive to me. If someone saved my dog and took care of them until they got ahold of me, I’d bake them effing cookies. I swear.

      I LOVE YOUR PREDICTION!!! *grins* I’ll be back with River….even if she did pull my chin hair. Maybe she’d finally dislodge that stubborn whisker…..


  8. Once while in my garage, I reached down to pick up an out of place bungee chord. Let the world know that I am DCO — the opposite of OCD. I never care if something is out of place. Except this time. And the bungee chord was a copperhead snake. I don’t really mind snakes unless they can kill me. Then I am not so friendly.

    I predict you will see many snakes.

    And people who don’t take care of their pets should not have them.


    1. I’m jealous of your DCO. I want to not give a shit where everything is. *sigh* I can’t believe you picked up a copperhead! Did it try to bite you? *shudder* I don’t think I’d ever recover from that. Wow.

      “And people who don’t take care of their pets should not have them.” YESSSSSS


      1. At the last second I realized it was a snake. I made my husband kill it (I would not have if it weren’t poisonous).

        I would like to be less DCO. Maybe I could just be OOO.


  9. Bethie, I’m allowed to catch and relocate snakes and I have an 8′ python in an enclosure beneath my bar top named Hiram, so, a word on baby snakes for future reference. The smaller they are the less venom they can produce, therefore what venom they do have is exponentially more potent…so don’t get bit by wee ones either okay?

    That’s enough of that, onto the contest winning predictions. Hmm…you’re plucking chin hair while sitting on the dunny after a huge night out (where you fell on your butt after your drink exited your nose) and suddenly see a giant snake enter under the bathroom door whereby you run screaming through a glass door into the path of an oncoming bear and immediately fall out of your canoe…then you wake up…on the floor next to the bed and realise it was all just a bad dream…until you notice a snake under the bed at which you jump up and…(to be continued).

    btw, I missed your usual encouragement on my last post, hope it didnt offend or anything. Anyway, have a great trip, darlin’. Love Red


    1. Normally, I’d comment first on your prediction (cuz it’s freakin’ hilarious), but I gotta know more about your snake. I grew up with an uncle with a 6′ Boa named Lylith, and I’ve always had a healthy respect for snakes because of that. So how long have you had Hiram? (cool name, btw!) How old is he/she? Is she friendly?


      1. Oh you’d love him then, and the stupid phone did that, it’s Hitam, with a “t” and is Malaysian for “black”. I inherited him about 6 or so years ago (he was already about 4 or 5) from someone moving interstate and taking him would’ve meant big trouble if she was caught. He is a Black Headed Python and is native to these parts. I built my bar for him which has a glass front with the enclosure filled with sorts of old memorabilia. Sometimes people will be checking out the old stuff in there and then see something move and get right up close to check it out and just about do a backward somersault when they realise…it’s never not funny. He makes for a great party trick and has cured heaps of people of their irrational phobias of snakes. But he’s no pet now, he was initially and would’ve died if he’d ever escaped, I swear he was cross-eyed, bloody useless aim, but now he could fend for himself. That’s not to say he’s not okay to handle but he only lasts so long and then wants to go home. He’s only ever bitten one young girl on the shoulder because thatscwhere my daughter’s rat had been sitting earlier…one smell and he was all “gimme some o’ that!”


  10. First of all, about the chin hair, why the hell are my stray eye lashes growing on my chin?

    Secondly, about your contest, you beat me to it. This is what always happens to me on a road trip, so let’s assume you’re going on a road trip: As a female, you know that peeing beside car is a complicated act involving deeply squatting and keeping your feet as far apart as possible while standing behind a car door hardly large enough to hide. Now, you think no one can see you, when clearly everyone on the road does. To make things worse, your pee does not behave. Shoes and clothes get wet, and the wind blows pee back onto and even into the car, which makes for a very uncomfortable ride. Not exactly creative, though, as I’m sure we’ve all experienced this scenario. Right?


    1. But what if I had a shenis? Would that help me pee on the side of the road with better efficiency, and less wet shoes? Hmmmmm. I guess I’ll have to try that.

      YES. Effing full-on whiskers! I mean, seriously! WTF?


      1. You know they have these funnel things you can use. I used one once on a small airplane to prevent having to land just to pee. Still quite messy, especially in a tiny Cessna 150.


  11. Have fun on your vacation 😀 If your luck is anything like mine you’ll accidentally flash a boob, and may not even realize it until someone else lets you know you’re uh…staring at them?!


  12. Indiana Jones has nothing on me when belligerent with fear I say, “I HATE SNAKES!!!!” Phoenix and I walk past them more then once a week on our treks. He likes to say hi to his squirrel, jack rabbit and lizard friends, otherwise I would never go that way!! I even wrote a post last year about a HUGE rattler (no embellishment) who took a strike at my kid. It was cooling off under a rock…I heard a weird noise that was reaching deep into my data base that is my small brain from my medic and search & rescue days, “that is a sound I should know..” Then LUNGE…the eff’er (one of these days I will actually cuss online…promise) lunged after Phoenix who had gone to sniff and investigate. Beth, as the post says, it was fight or flight adrenalin. I’m not all that strong. But, I literally pulled up and back so hard on the leash that it yanked Phoenix all of the way off his four paws to 3 feet away from the snake. It was the worst moment ever that I did that to him but it easily saved his life. That was one pissed off rattler. No, somehow I didn’t hurt him. But, I admonished him to no end for the danger. Then I took a picture of…IT. It’s on the post. Ironically the worst ones are the baby rattlers because they haven’t learned how to control their venom release yet. They will kill instantly.


    If you weren’t an always supporting friend of Phoenix and I on our blog I would have never even read this!!

    The contest. My gawd…why do we win for Pete’s sake???!! I’m all fired up now!! A special item from your trip? She better be cute dangit!! Is it illegal to ship waitresses? Whatever. Make it happen because I have the winning answer.



    Ok, you and your husband are at the Cowboy Bar in Jackson Hole. I told you I’ve been there several times. Your husband will go to the restroom (note to husband, “go to the restroom so I can win mister!!” Beth, you will get “hit on” at least once from some guy being…well, a guy!

    If anyone hijacks my answer you are disqualified!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Okay, first I had to read this out loud to the Jim and we both were cracking up! I know that bar! I have a photo with me and a biker (and his bike) circa 1996! hahaha.

      Also? YOU SAVED PHOENIX’S LIFE! Wow. That snake bite would’ve killed fo sho. That’s really scary!


  13. Wow. You know you need to get out more when I see the Tetons and think, “Oh my goodness…she’s going to the Himilayas!” Right. Haha…well have a great trip! (I’ll be finally able to vacate good and proper like in a few more weeks. All the way to Illinois! Groan.)

    Good seeing you. ;0)


    1. Hey there! I was JUST thinking about you the other day. It’s been a while since we’ve visited blogs. Hope school is going well! Glad you get a break soon. That’ll be nice. Even in Illinois. 🙂


      1. Exactly. :0) (Garden of the gods.) Our family vacations are totally blog-worthy so no doubt, we’ll come back with stories. Anywho- have a good one and looking forward to your latest. ;0)


  14. My prediction…you wake up find a bear had been watching you sleep. You soon realize it’s not any bear, but THE Bear from Alaskan Bush People. He heard you were a fan, and as he is having trouble finding a Mrs. Bear, he made the long trek to see if you are interested. You try to let him down kindly, but he doesn’t understand your accent. You end up having to show him in a language he can understand…
    I’ll let you fill in that last part of the story. 🙂


    1. HAHAHAHAHA Christine, you win for pulling this full circle from an older post! That’s hysterical! I think the show Bear would be just as scary as a real bear. Both would make me pee myself. And EW to showing him in a language he’d understand! He’s so….harry.


  15. No snakes in the house…yet. Just birds — so many birds! I predict that while you’re hiking, you’ll heed the call of nature…and you’ll be caught in the act!


    1. OHHHH, I’ve never been caught (that I’m aware of) but of course, I’m horrified by the thought. You could win this so easily because I pee constantly, and we’re doing a lot of hiking….so do the math.

      Birds? That fly inside?


      1. Some of them! My cats have become very proficient at catching birds out on the deck…and then they bring them through the cat-door into the house to finish the job. Luckily, some of the birds escape — well, luckily for them. Not so much for me — because then I get to clean up feathers and poop.


  16. OMG snakes! Nope thanks but nope!! Double nope! And river is part of the family. I love her and I didn’t even meet her.

    So my prediction…and some say ok
    Psychic or trlepatjf. (That’s telepathic). Aunt Flo will find you. Just like your honey moon. And it will be inconvenient. Sorry. Good luck. She’s a real


  17. As is not my unusual wont, I am gonna post this comment/link, ‘ere I read everyone elses’ (‘elses’? Is that a word?)
    Anyway, ya had me at ‘snake’.
    I could fawn here, but I ain’t bambi. So, no fawning.
    I leave you this (and I do promise to read the rest-of-the-best comments–this is just mine)

    And Y’all know:Texans are somewhat ‘out there.”

    Cheers! Y’all.


      1. Beth,
        Your aiming at ‘noncommittal’ Neutral, is admirable.
        Here is some truth:
        This song above,(for whatever reason) has been a metaphor for my mis-spent, hurtful-to-others life/youth.
        Now! Not getting ‘heavy’ here.
        Just saying.
        And in just saying: I do, occasionally get heavy. Not much time left to become ‘Hemingway’…

        Your writing reminds me… to not take…me…too seriously.
        (and that is a compliment to you and to Aussa–even because of the paucity of ‘likes’ and ‘comments’…from me…that makes no sense–must be a Texan Thang.)
        Y’all make me smile.
        End of confession.
        And thanks for responding/replying.
        “Braums Vern!” Braums!


  18. first of all, snakes do not “just happen”. If a snake happens to you, then the very next thing that happens to you is a chair and an exterminator.
    And while you are at the Grand Tetons– you will make many jokes about yours, and others, “Grand Tetons”, and at some point someone will overhear (like a nun, or the pope, or a five year old who asks you how come you’ve got your own grand tetons) and you will be embarrassed. Pretty safe, yes?


  19. *rushes in a million hours late* 1437th!!!!

    Those snakes are CUUUUUUTE (but yeah, don’t get bit!) and I’m glad there were pranks. Your house sounds fun 😀

    As for River, I hope she comes to visit again, and that her owner decides to do the responsible thing. Perhaps you could persuade a local vet that they might do well to leaflet drop your neighbourhood with adverts about their spaying/neutering services…

    As for prizes – I got the best one already (#BlogWife) but just in case, I call dibs on ‘faceplants on mountainside’, ‘trips over child’ and ‘leaves vital item at home’ (not so much a calamity as an irritation, that last one…). Are you going swimming? I got a whole bunch which could go for that…


  20. I do my best to not be profane on the interwebs (sort of) but when I saw that rubber snake photo, I yelled “WHAT THE FUCK” and proceeded to stare at it for probably 2 minutes. Couldn’t keep reading.

    I hope you have fun on your trip.
    I haven’t read any other comments, so I’ll make my own prediction…
    You’re going to get frisky and try to make sweet love at an inopportune time. And you’ll get caught.

    That is not just because I want to read about your sex life, not at all.


    The Girl in Your Bedroom


  21. If you’re like me in the mountains, you will have not have to pee until you’re hiking through an open field with no cover in sight, not a single rock or tree. And no paper.

    We had a lovely stray show up on our back deck one night, who looked like she had been on the road for…all of her life. She was as matted as an unshorn sheep but as sweet as you could ever hope for. She stayed and had dinner with us, chased the deer out of our garden, slept on the back porch, and hit the road by dawn. I have no idea where she ended up, but we fell in love in a few hours with her!


  22. I live in Minnesota, so no scary snakes here! They’d freeze their freaking rattles off.

    Um, lets see, perhaps you will awaken w/ a spider inside your belly button….

    Seriously, I know somebody this happened to. Talk about pissing your pants.

    Be careful!!!!!! Have Fun)) xxx


  23. OK, no snakes in my house to date. (Knocks on wood) However. May I please tell you that just 24 hours ago I encountered the most horrendous bug ever in my kitchen. Number one, I have an unholy fear of all things with more legs than a dog. It’s a total phobia and I should probably see someone about it. But that’s another blog post. Number two, after killing it, my Husband determined that the bug in question is called an assassin bug. ASSASSIN. So number one plus number two equals I had a total meltdown panic attack complete with hyperventilation and blood-curdling screams. If it weren’t such great potential blog fodder, I’d be totally embarrassed.
    Hope you have a great trip!!! May you see no snakes.


  24. So, you’re going to be in the Rockies. SO SO SO close to me! I’m in CO now. Email me and tell me the exact dates of your travel. This sounds crass but my grandma is dying and I just might be home when you’re traveling, and I WILL travel to see you if we’re within hours of each other. F’real. EMAIL ME FRIGGIN NOW.

    Also, the snakes? Freaky. And the lost dog? My biggest nightmare. My dogs are seriously my children. My heartstrings reach out to them. So if I lost them, it would literally break my heart. Good for you for returning it to the owners, as hard as it may be.


  25. Discover mid-pee that you’re in the stall of a now-crowded men’s restroom. Aside from that, have a grand trip to the home of your heart. And then write about it for us.


  26. I don’t know if I’m happy or disgusted that I have also done everything on your list, including the peeing my pants (multiple times) and sharting.

    I predict you will mistake another guy for your husband, walk up behind him, pinch him on the ass, and whisper something dirty in his ear. I totally never did that. Ever.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Have an awesome trip, Beth! That baby snakes is gorgeous. But sadly reminded me of a story my next door neighbour told of how she viciously killed a nest of baby snakes when she went on a walk in the park. Because, naturally, they will all grow into killers and its kill or be killed out here in the urban wild. (That kind of thing makes me mad mad mad.)


  28. Wow!! Given the snakes episode, I sure hope you don’t have another encounter with a snake while you’re camping and you just stepped out of your tent to go and pee and you meet a rattle snake whereupon you have to hold your pee until it moves, which means it starts trickling down your legs and a five year old sees that, or else you pee in the bushes and a park ranger discovers you!!
    Just a guess!!


  29. Not sure how I missed this post, but I hope you’re having a great time on your trip. Do you know why the fur trappers called them The Grand Tetons? That one’s always worth a quick giggle. Perhaps you will come across a snake and end up throwing it into a hot spring… stranger things have happened like the dog that jumped out of a car and jumped into one thinking it was a cool pool. The book Death in Yellowstone is fun of all sorts of those kinds of true stories.


  30. Ahhhhhh snakes freak me all the way out! As does chin hair. And yes it drives me bat-shit when people don’t take care of their pets. Have a super awesome time on your vacation – drive fast and take lots of chances! But be careful with your hair – I feel like there could be an embarrassing hair incident…


  31. I am so sick of these muther fucking snakes on this muther fuking plane!

    You can break in at night and steal the dog. Just never take it out for walks.

    Have an awesome trip and don’t get bit by a snake, or fall down the mountain side.


  32. Looks like you are already on your trip. I am going to predict that NOTHING scary or sad or icky will happen to you on your trip. I may be wrong, but my heart is in the right place! 😀

    No snakes in the house. Lots of gecko/chameleons which eat bugs, so I don’t mind them outside the house. Not so much inside the house. They leave surprisingly large piles of poo for such small creatures.

    And we had a puppy come and adopt us, temporarily. He was adorable, and I named him Little Banjo. He spent one full day with us and slept on our porch overnight, then left sometime the next day. We don’t have a fence, and couldn’t keep him anyway, but I was so sad when he left. I later found out that a neighbor had picked him up on the road, after seeing an SUV dump him out and speed away (there is a special place in hell for those people) and he was Houdini and escaped from their fenced yard. They found a forever home for him with some humans with acreage, so I am sure he is living a happy puppy life…


  33. Are you kidding? A SNAKE in your HOUSE? I would have to leave the planet. Or at least sleep in the car for the rest of my life, which I actually did the one time I have ever seen a snake in my life during a camping trip near San Francisco. The boyfriend insisted on sleeping in the car with me rather than the comfy tent and I yelled at him for patronising me, and coincidentally, we broke up a couple of weeks later. Anyway.

    Have a lovely trip! I’m going to say… you get something stuck up your nose.


  34. Would love to hear how you liked the Grand Tetons. I went to a dude ranch there when I was 12 and had one of the best times of my life!


  35. I recently found a spider in my basement and I was petrified for a moment. I actually blogged about it. I can’t even imagine finding a snake. I’d probably move.
    Love your humor! Funny ladies fo’ life!


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