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The Secret

“It will crawl under your skin and consume you. Let it. This is the kind of possession you want.”

The SisterWives

I said I was going to reveal something huge this week. Something saturated in my blood, sweat, and tears. Something I held secret for a long time. Too long. Something that exposes me and makes me more vulnerable than I’ve ever been.

And I will.

But first, I need you to go on a little ride with me. From the neurons firing in your brain to the marrow in your bones, I need you to comprehend the gravity of what I’m about to tell you.

Imagine yourself as eighteen again. No, really. Think about that time in your life. All the uncertainties. The feelings of trepidation and excitement mixed with insecurity and fear. The angst. Hormones charging through your veins like bulls, twisting and turning your emotions on a dime. The yearning to find yourself and understand who you are.

What if on top of all that you also had…

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NAPS, ZOMBIES, AND SUNSHINE.

 

I took a bit of a blog hiatus, two weeks to be exact. I made it about eight days before I started blog stalking everyone else, but I’ve been gone from my mine far too long. A special shout-out to Mandi, Don, Lizzi, and Mike V. for making sure I got my butt back to writing. Thanks guys, it’s nice to feel missed and loved.

FIVE MAJOR THINGS I DID DURING MY BLOGVACAY

1. Awesome activities, like naps. A lot of naps. I read a book, finally (Unteachable, by Leah Raeder. It. Was. Amazing) I finally got my own ereader and don’t have to compete with the kids for the iPad, so many more books will follow – yippee! And I spent time with my family – watching movies, throwing footballs, playing board games…all of it. Heavenly.

2. I decided to go off my migraine meds. My memory loss was actually starting to get a little scary. Ten years from now, I want to remember my kids. I’ve been on such a low dose the past few years, I decided to see if I could exist without them now. I’ve been 100% meds-free for nearly a week now. So far so good.

3. Completely change my diet and go VEGAN. I know, it sounds extreme, but for me it’s really not. I used to be vegetarian, back before the kids were born. After my second child, though, I caved under the stress of having to prepare four separate meals (hubs was never vegetarian). The crazy thing is, this was all his idea! HE wanted to go vegan! It’s been over two weeks now. Love. It. Feel. Great.

4. I played a butt-load of Plants vs. Zombies. Why? Because I could, and damn I love that game. I also accidently discovered Candy Crush. I blame Karen of Baking In A Tornado. She’s always talking about it on Facebook. I was searching for a new game for my 6yo on the iPad and came across . Poor kids hasn’t even seen it yet. But I’m kicking butt, so there’s that.

5. Dung out and organize every drawer, closet, and cabinet in the entire house.

**BONUS ROUND**

6. Construct an awards post. WHAT. That’s right. Surprise!

The tantalizingly talented Lanthie Ransom of Life Cherries was sweet enough to give me a Sunshine Award. A few weeks later, another came my way from the wise-beyond-her-years, incredible Gwen of Little Growing Pains. I adore both their blogs and am honored they thought of me for this award! Love ya, ladies! XOXO

The rules: Display the award on your blog. And that concludes the rules I’m going to follow so I’ll just stop there.

I’M GOING ROGUE. IN SEVENS.

Arbitrary Beth Facts that are getting really boring because I’ve already told you all the surprising stuff:

1. My eyes are green.

2. I  love the smell of pipe smoke.

3. I have a mule named Festus.

4. I have a weakness for Junior Mints.

5. Hockey is my favorite sport.

6. I don’t have a middle name. I have an initial – D. I used to think of names that started with D to say were actually my middle, other than my brother’s suggestion: douche. The D is in honor of my grandmother’s name, Doris. I guess I’m glad my middle name isn’t Doris. BUT STILL.

7. When I was in third grade, I got in trouble for bringing one of my dad’s Playboy magazines to school. I had told my buddies, Stan and Freddy, that I found the magazines in my parent’s closet. They didn’t believe me, so I proved it to them. The takeaway: don’t ever accuse me of lying. I will go to enormous lengths to validate myself.

My Questions:

1. If you could go back in time ten years and tell yourself one thing, what would it be? Exactly 10 years ago I was pregnant with my first child. I would tell myself: The sonogram was wrong, it’s not a girl! Don’t buy all that girlie stuff!

2. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? That’s a tough one. I really love Marzipan by Ben & Jerry’s. I also love Birthday Cake flavor ice cream. Who thought of that? Geniuses, that’s who.

3. Gwen asked: If you were to take me on a date, where would we go and why? Gwen, I would take you to France in my private jet. You seem like a really smart, savvy, fun girl and I think we would have a blast going to the Louvre and then chowing down on some pasta and acting all French at a sidewalk café. Maybe the Tour de France would be going on at that time and we could cheer them on wearing funny outfits and we’d be on TV. Then we’d go shopping and I’d buy you new shoes and an amazing purse.

4. Above all else, what are you afraid of? Being a disappointment

5. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail? Try out for a movie role that costars Meryl Streep, who plays my mother, and Jennifer Lawrence who plays my sister. It would be a drama about a woman (me) torn between two lovers. My love interests are played by Charlie Hunnam and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. It would be rated R due to the explicit sex scenes.

6. What has been your favorite age to be and why? So far my forties have been amazing and far better than any other age. I just like where I am in life. I’m a very lucky girl.

7. Coffee or tea? COFFEE!

BLOG NOMINATION TIME!

This is the Sunshine Award so I’m nominating bloggers who bring sunshine into my life with their fabulous writing. If you haven’t already been to their blogs, DEFINITELY check them out! I have so many I could choose from since my blogroll is longer than any human could possibly keep up with, so I limited it to ones I haven’t given an award to before.

Nominees: do with this what you want. No obligations. If you choose to do an awards post, answer the questions I had to answer, and give 7 facts about yourself. Then nominate any amount of bloggers you choose up to eleven. (I broke that rule, but I’m doing this for two awards so screw it.)

1. Cellulitelooksbettertan

2.  Considerings

4. InionNMathair

5. UniversalMusings

6. TheMomCafe

7. donofalltrades

8. Babygatesdown

9. TheRegularGuyNYC

10. CurvyRoads

11. MyInnerChick

12. IAMTHEMILK

15. amycakeandthedude

16. Samaraspeaks (I realize you just received one, but I could NOT leave you off this list!)

17. confessionsofapartimeworkingmom

Congrats everybody! You deserve it!

blog award- sunshine photo: Erin from PhillipsFam sunshineblogaward.png

What are YOU reading?

It amazes me how I can spend half an hour pouring over book jackets, paying special attention to editorial reviews and five-star ratings….blah, blah, blah….only to finally narrow down what I think is THE book, read it, and end up disappointed. Not horribly disappointed; just not WOWED.

I WANT TO BE WOWED.

Don’t we all? I want to have what I heard my friend refer to as a book hangover when I’m done reading it. I want to miss the characters…bad. I want to be bummed as hell it’s over.

It occurred to me that almost every single book I’ve ever LOVED was a referral. I don’t think I ever just picked up a book at random that ended up being on my “I freaking love this book” list. I guess I just SUCK IT at picking out awesomeness. (friends and husbands excluded)

-SO-

What are YOU reading right now? Please comment and share with me…