I Wish I Blogged When My Boobs Were Exploding

My first baby was born over nine years ago. I can’t quite believe I just wrote that. Seems like yesterday his tiny, squirmy body was placed in my arms and now he’s almost as tall as me. YOWZA! But aside from the happy memories of bringing a healthy baby home, and the absolute wonder of it all (I fucking did that? I made a human? ME?), you wanna know what I remember from that time?

fear-panic-isolation-anxiety-frustration-angst-depression-anger. all at once.

Why? Because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and I didn’t have any other friends who’d been through it yet. Oh I had acquaintances, but not close friends. I had books that pretended to prepare me, but not buddies who’d been there. I had no advice, no one making me laugh through the trials of breast feeding, no one telling me to hang in there, it just gets worse the hard part’s almost over. You know what I was missing?


I’m new around here, but as I’m reading all these HILARIOUS, AMAZING mommy bloggers I can’t help but feel a little pang of resentment that I didn’t have this resource when I was leaking milk and sneeze-peeing my way through sleepless nights. I would have taken anyone – ANYTHING – if it just felt like solidarity. If it just made me laugh or feel like I wasn’t insane. More than normal, anyway.

I’m reading The Mother Of All Meltdowns right now and OH if I had only had this book then! It’s SO funny! No one asked me to review it, trust me, this is all on me, but reading it is partly what inspired this post so I had to give it its due mention. If you don’t have it yet – do yourself a favor. And then follow all the authors because their blogs are GENIUS.

Okay, so maybe I didn’t have the insight and wisdom of other mommies when I was post-partum, or having to PUMP ALL MY MILK CUZ HE HAD A SUCKING PROBLEM WHAT THE HELL, through the potty training years (which just happened like a week ago BECAUSE I HAVE BOYS AND THEY DON’T CARE IF THEY SIT IN THEIR OWN FECES ALL DAY), or the tantrums, or losing naptime, or….or…breathe Elizabeth, breathe.

I do have it now, though. And now it’s going to help me with my third baby: my novel. They say the Universe has a way of making all things even. I believe that, utterly and completely. The Yin and the Yang. Karma. All that stuff. Balance Baby. Yeah. Can you hear the drums? Can you smell the weed sage? Kumbafrickinya….sing it with me…..


How about you? Did/does the bloggy world give you support during challenging times? I LOVE your comments!


  1. you sound like you came out ok even without the exploding boobs when you started blogging. I really need to read more of your previous posts, you entertain me while I am trying to wake up before going to work. Thanks!


  2. I’m still years from the baby-having but yeah I will definitely rely on the mommy blogs… My SIL talks about this same sort of thing, in regards to raising kids and planning her wedding (hello Pinterest with your $14 weddings).


  3. I think about this too, wondering how the blogosphere might’ve helped me cope during the early parenting years. My first baby was born in 94, and my only internet option was AOL chat rooms. 🙂 I imagine there were rooms for exploding boobs, although not the ones I would’ve wanted. 🙂


  4. Wow, sounds like quite an experience! Makes me a little scared about having kids someday… Good to know that if I become a mother in the future, the blogosphere will probably hold some great sources of love and support! 😛


    1. Sorry, hope I didn’t scare you! All that was missing for me was support, and you seem to have it with your sisters and probably a lot of friends who might have babies first. But, if not, then there is always the blogosphere. At the very least, it’ll assure you you’re not alone and make you laugh through the tears! 🙂


    1. Amen! Mine are stubborn headed too! But just knowing I wasn’t alone….and oh, the laughter…..that would have been so awesome! Trust me, I was pretty tightly wound. I could’ve used a good buwhahahah back then. 🙂
      thanks for reading!


  5. If the Internet existed when I was younger and I knew there were others like me? I might have escaped so many painful years. But, I grew up in North Carolina in a different time period and a different world. I hope I’m giving someone support during their challenging times…


  6. We moved to Indy when I was 8 months pregnant with our first. We didn’t know a single person in the city when he was born just a few weeks later. It was the loneliest, most difficult time of parenting I ever had. We didn’t own a computer back then. There was no such thing as Google, so why have one. This internet/blogging world might have been helpful.


  7. Definitely no kiddos for me-love the little imps but no thanks. However, blogging on caringbridge.org did get me through breast cancer. There is no question it helped me heal not to mention kept me out of trouble. So I am grateful for CaringBridge and cyberspace!


  8. I don’t have any kids (none that I know of!) but reading others cool blogs out there will usually pick me up when I’m having a slow day. So many good ones to read!


    1. “none that I know of” LOL.

      I know! I’m tellin’ you, I’m so grateful for the blog world! Whether it’s about kids..or shitty days…or awesome places to eat in NY…I love ’em all. 🙂


    1. Aw, thanks. 🙂 Trust me, if you have the internet and blogging, you’re already 100 steps ahead of the game! Really. It’ll help SO much. Just the access to fast information alone, not to mention the support, laughter, etc. etc.
      You’re golden!


    1. *slides off chair* THAT is be best thing I’ve heard ALL DAY! Thanks for the compliment!
      Oh, and trust me, I wasn’t brave. I was blissfully ignorant. YOU will be fine, though. YOU have the internet and blogging, so you’re a million times better connected than I was! Easy Peasy, girlie 🙂


  9. You are so right about the community effects of blogging, Beth! It really does make tough moments feel more normal. That being said, I just finished breastfeeding a year ago, I am a blogger and I still break out in hives at the sound of a newborn’s cry. Apparently blogging can’t cure PTSD.


  10. I wish I started blogging earlier as well. It’s amazing the support and friendships that we create here in the online community. When I was pregnant, I was pretty alone – I had coworkers but no close friends here. Although, I might have missed some really good tv if I were blogging back when my son was tiny. Would have been SO NICE though to have somebody to ask about whether it was normal for my boob to be bigger than my son’s head.


    1. ROFLMAO! Thank you – YES! SEE? That’s what I’m talking about haha! The crazy shit that happens and you’re like whaaaa? Or being in the grocery store…your baby cries…and now the front of your shirt is covered in breast milk. Neat.

      The book is so funny! Wish I could send an email to every single author and tell them thank you for the laughs!

      OMGNANOWRIMO! I’ve never attempted it as a blogger….also I’ll have my book back from my editor by then and have that overhaul to work on….so it’ll be a HUGE challenge for me this year, but at the same time, I have more writing time than I’ve ever had so maybe it all works out(?). Good luck to you!!!!!


  11. PS – Thanks for the Meltdown shout out and I’m going to try and do Nanowrimo this year too (but wondering if I’ll have the time to get to 50,000).


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