Blogging Takes Big Hairy Balls

I know what you’re thinking. Why does blogging take balls? I’ll tell you why. Because you’re putting yourself out there. Big time. You’re holding a neon sign and saying, “Hey world, here I am and all the crazy shit that goes on in my head! Do you like me? Press that thumbs-up button!”

Some days your post may be funny, other days it may be more thought provoking. You never know which your followers will respond to. It’s all a big risk, but you can’t write for some supposed, abstract expectation. So you write what’s in your head and in your heart. You squeeze your eyes and say a little prayer that someone out there in the blogosphere gets you, and you hit that publish button.

To some people this may be a risk free endeavor. People who are comfortable being in the spot light. “Here I am, take it or leave it” type people. They put it all out there, lay it all on the line to be judged or loved. Easy peasy. I admire the shit out of those people.

But that’s not me. Not by a long shot.

I’m more of a “waves from afar, hope you like me but if you don’t then I probably need to apologize at this point” type. Have you ever played that game – that what Friends character are you most like game? You probably have. So keep in mind who you think you’re most like, but then ask someone else who knows you well which character they think you’re most like. The answers won’t always match. My friends all said I was definitely Phoebe. I’m assuming because we’re both blonde and dingy; good natured and a little eccentric. Know who I always related to? Chandler. I never related to any of the girls – they were way too together for me. I related to the shy guy who never knew where he fit in. The sometimes awkward one who used humor to get himself through life, or to cover up when things got too real.

I’m fiercely private by nature, but trying very hard to learn to be more open. It takes tremendous effort to quiet the negative voices in my head and gather the cajones to write. I’ve found this is infinitely easier to do with strangers, however, so blogging is good practice for me. There is a comfortable buffer in sending your words to people you never (or rarely) see. Conversely, handing my novel over to beta readers, whom I know personally, almost made me physically ill. I would have rather paraded naked in front of them. I did it, though. I gave them my novel because I want it to succeed that bad. I’ll do whatever it takes.

So why the hell bother with a blog, Beth? Because I need to, desperately. It’s strangely cathartic. It fulfills some sort of innate writer’s need to share what’s in my head. If I don’t satisfy this call to action, I’m going to end up that crazy lady under the highway that talks to invisible people and shows her boobs to strangers eats paper. And you know, you know, I’ll have like a hundred cats. So I’ll continue to use this awesome, crazy, strange venue to purge what my muse wants to create, and with shaky, tentative hands I’ll offer it to you.

This is what was in my head today. I’m scooping my big, hairy balls over to the side so I can reach the publish button. If you enjoyed it, hit that damn like button and let me feel the love. Even better, comment and tell me which Friends character you think you’re most like. Did it match what others thought? Are you a blogger? Let me know if it takes big hairy balls for you to blog too. You can use a different analogy if you want. Jes sayin’. If you’re not appreciating the testes visual. If you are, you’re welcome.

58 comments

  1. I too am a “waves from afar”. Before I blogged I had 5 posts written just sitting in documents, not because I was considering blogging, but just because I had to get it out. I was pushed to start a blog by a group of friends and I still hold my breath when I hit “publish”. But it’s the outlet I needed, the gift that takes up my time and energy and thought so I don’t go crazy. So for as long as it serves me, I’ll keep pushing that “publish” button. I’m glad you do too.

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  2. Ya know what, Beth? You’re exactly right. Blogging does take big hair balls! And you’ve got some nice ones! I don’t think people really understand what goes into it. And unfortunately, there is a quote somewhere (that I’m probably messing up) that says something like “the funniest ones are the ones hurting the most.” I know this personally. It’s hard work putting it out there for the sake of making others laugh and/or smile. Kudos to you for being one of the good ones! 🙂

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    1. Thanks Leigh! I appreciate you hopping on with your two cents. We are brave, bold, beautiful, hairy-balled bloggers — WOOOP! Hey, maybe I need my own “I blog with balls” club with a cool badge! A big hairy ball badge! YES. Lol.

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  3. Of all the blogs we visit, we always come to yours in our sweats, kick off our heels, lay back and feel most at home. Never stop parading those big hairy balls around my friend, because the blogosphere would be a dull place without them and without you. If it’s at all comforting, know we feel your pain because we have two sets of big hairy balls to deal with. Mathair is definitely comfortable being in the spotlight and I too have mad respect for people like that, but I am more like you, Beth, the waves from afar. We were never really into Friends, we were more Seinfeld fans. So if you don’t mind we’ll use their characters. Mathair is Jerry all the way; sarcastic, but loveable and has a very odd sense of humor. Matter of fact, she laughs at the most inappropriate and offbeat things. While I am more like George, completely insecure, at odds with the world and myself and have more of a dry humor. Great post, Beth. BTW We love your big hairy balls and you!

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  4. My friends would probably say I’m Ross cause I am a nerd; but I would probably say Chandler. I couldn’t find a like button but if there was one, I would press it.

    Scott

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  5. whatever I did to deserve you two…I’m so damn glad I did it! Thank you, thank you for the kudos (oddly nice to have ones gonads complimented, even in a metaphorical sense), and I LOVE that you used Seinfeld’s characters! (I’m a George too, Inion. As if I had to say that.) I’m equally as grateful that your big hairy balls (all 4 of them) and blogs grace the blogoshere as well. 🙂

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  6. I totally get this. I’m super shy in real life, but my inner voice just keeps screaming inside me, wanting to be heard by somebody who will understand me. That’s why I write, and that’s also why I blog. It’s been a great experience so far, but it took a lot of courage just to get started, since I have a huge fear of judgment. Thankfully, I’ve been meeting nice people like you in the blogosphere, so it’s totally worth it! 😀

    And I’ve always identified most with Ross. Book-smart, nerdy, a little pedantic, but all around a good person. Plus, I think dinosaurs are awesome! 🙂

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  7. Okay, full-disclosure, I had to look up the word pedantic. Thanks for making me feel like an idiot. LOL.
    Yes, I can see you as Ross, especially with your Biologist career! Very cool. Ross is awesome. Thanks for chiming in! Be proud of your big hairy balls. 🙂

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    1. oooh, a hybrid character. Nice! I love that you secretly blogged! You were like the Batman of bloggers. Who is she? No one knows. Then BLAM! Holy reveal! Pretty slick, Jessica. Pretty slick. 🙂
      Thanks for hopping over and reading!

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  8. DARCY! I’m a little starstruck right now. Excuse me while I hyperventilate. The Chosen One visited my site, people! Holy shit balls (pun intended, but not shit balls, shit Q’s). Thanks for hopping over and reading, funny lady. You made my day. 🙂

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  9. Hi There!
    This is my first visit and I LIKEY!!!!
    This may seem strange but I’m NOT one of those introverts that feels the risk in pressing publish. I press away with that ‘take it or leave it’ attitude (admire if you must). Maybe it’s because I’m older? Maybe it’s just my personality? (That’s it- BTW). But I so admire the ‘basically’ shy people who do this with hesitation. It shows a real courage and ability to connect.
    And the Big Hairy Balls- well, that’s always a bonus!

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  10. I DO admire you! I wish I published with less angst! But then I wouldn’t have this beautiful, huge, hairy hangin’ brain, would I? haha! I just visited your blog and it’s freaking awesome! (totally trying your beef stroganoff, btw). Thanks for hopping over here and taking a gander!

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  11. It sometimes takes balls. There are a few particularly ‘ouchy’ subjects I’ve posted about, which give me the jitters right before I hit publish, but in spite of being a Thinker, I tend to be pretty blase and have fun with it. In real life, I’d either be in the back of the room, hoping to spot someone else lonely-looking to strike up a conversation with, or I’d be the person in the middle, in fabulous shoes, laughing and joking and making friends with everyone.

    But it’s fun to be an enigma, and it’s cool to be whoever you are in this here Blogosphere, as long as you write well, and you…you write well. I’ll be back 😀

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  12. THANK YOU for hopping over and checking me out, Lizzi! I appreciate the compliment so very much. I got on your blog after seeing this comment and am STILL on there reading all your fabulous posts. 🙂 And of course, I love you on twitter too. Happy to call you a blogosphere buddy with balls!

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  13. I’ve always been the impulsive, need-to-get-it-off-my-chest-consequences-be-damned sort and that’s pretty much how I felt going into my blog. Then when people started to read it I started to think a little more about the whole thing.
    Wow – I’ve got a pretty spacey, out there sense of humor. Wonder what people
    are gonna think of that? I try not to think about it too much though. It just makes
    me too self conscious. So I take a deep breath and go with it and hope the collective blogosphere doesn’t think this chick is a nutter. Though…I think that could work in my favor…;)

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  14. I figured you for the sort that wasn’t too shy about posting! You are a nutter, elleroy, and I mean that in the absolute most complimentary way possible. 🙂 Thanks for hopping over here and reading. You Rock.

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  15. Thanks so much for linking up to the weekend blog hop, great post !!

    I try not to write to much about my life but gets blow away by the Lovely responce when I do, some day I think shall I quit blogging but arr something draws me back in and I really love it haha it take so much of my time too 🙂 now what could I do with a few hours a day hehe …

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    1. Thank for reading! Yes, I know what you mean about it taking up ALL the hours in the day! I’m trying to balance out blogging and editing…and right now the blogoshere is tipping the scales pretty heavy! I need to tweak that STAT. I do get lost in the abyss, but oh, it’s fun!

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  16. Wonderful post. I never thought of blogging as being a risk. I guess I’m one of those “Here I am take me or leave me people.” If anything, blogging is less scary than dealing with people in the real world because I’m only a virtual presence. I don’t think being comfortable blogging is something admirable because you are probably comfortable with things that would scare me (like roller coasters). Finally, maybe my comfort with being out there has to do with being a youngest child from a large family, which means I’ve grown up being the fool in the spotlight. It’s no biggie to me.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com

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    1. Ohhh, a sibling order theory, me likey! Maybe there is something to that! Thanks for reading, Joyce! I’m the oldest, so maybe THAT’S my deal! YES. It feels right. I’m goin’ with it.

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  17. Well by all the comments I’d say you don’t have anything to worry about. I never really thought about which character on Friends I would be. I always loved the show though so let me think on it a minute.

    I totally and completely relate to this post. I fret and worry about posting and what people will think even though I try to say, “Who Cares!” I still do. And giving my first manuscript to three beta readers nearly killed me too!

    Back to the Friends characters…

    I think it would depend on who you spoke to to which one they would think I am like. Some would say I am like the controlling Monica just not as neat. Other’s would say I am eccentric Phoebe. What do I think? I’m probably a combination of both but if I have to pick one I am going to say Phoebe because she and I have had the most interesting jobs.

    I hope you keep on writing and get over at least a little of the anxiety over pushing the publish button. Obviously you are doing something right.

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    1. Hi Morgan! Thanks so much for hopping over here and reading! Glad to meet another “waves from afar” type. 🙂 Now I’m really curious what jobs you’ve had, though! I’ll be checking out your blog as soon as I’m done with this reply, so hopefully I’ll find out. TTFN.

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      1. I decided to come back and answer this because I don’t know if you found it on my blog (if it is even there) and of course I am avoiding writing (NaNoWriMo this month).

        My youngest daughter likes to tell people I am a gypsy and that I have had jobs ranging from grave digging (I actually sold the plots and headstones:) to limo driver. I originally didn’t ever want an office job and would seek out just about anything that wasn’t in an office.

        Donut shop
        Car Wash
        Lingerie Dept.
        Waitress/Server
        Tractor Parts department
        forklift driver
        Sample Girl in stores
        Trailer delivery and maintenance
        Teacher’s Asst. in Montessori Preschool
        Horse trainer asst.
        Hair Salon asst. manager
        Limo Driver
        Driver’s Training to mostly teenagers
        Sandwich order and delivery
        Real Estate (Realtor and Office Manager)
        State Farm Insurance Admin Asst.
        Pacific Bell Sales
        Furniture store asst. manager
        Point of Sale for cigarettes in convenience stores and gas stations
        Massage Therapist
        Rape Crisis Center Admin Asst. and Victim services
        Collection Agency Admin Asst.
        Vet Tech
        Funeral and Cemetery Sales
        Admin asst. for in house car wash for dealership
        Neuromuscular Massage Therapist
        Workshop facilitator

        Is it any wonder I became a writer? 😀 I think I am going to have to make a post out of this.

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    2. uh….mah….gah! You were NOT kidding! Wait…you drove a fork lift? Are you serious? I see you were a masseuse twice, did you enjoy that? I can see you being very nurturing, but that doesn’t mean you’d like being a masseuse necessarily, so I’m curious. You are so fascinating, Morgan!!
      BTW – I absolutely adored being a part of OctPoWriMo! I missed about 5 days, maybe 6, but I still consider it a HUGE success cuz I’m really proud of some of the poems and, most importantly, I had so much fun and met some incredible people. Thanks so much for introducing me to it and encouraging me to try it. 🙂

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  18. This post of your’s made my jaw drop!!!!! And now I got it…your first name is Beth! Sorry, I truly thought your first/last name was all the former, my dear 🙂 I loved, loved this post! I’m truly trying to find the words to comment here because after all of these years in life I found a person who is the closest mirror image to me (I’ve only been blogging a year but have been writing all of my life) possible. Wow, wow, wow. I’ve read this four times now. To know me is to read my posts about my Golden Retriever, Phoenix. Especially check out Facebook…that is me. I hope you’re a dog fan despite there being wonderful otters in all of your lives 🙂 But, for everything else, you have spoken my words. I’m just BLOWN AWAY. Seriously. Thank you, thank you, Beth!!!! 🙂

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    1. “to know me is to read my posts about my Golden Retriever, Phoenix” I love that, Mike. I plan on reading those posts because I definitely need to know my mirror image! 🙂 You’re so awesome, Mike. Thank you for finding me in the blogosphere. You have inspired me, lit up my little world, touched my heart, and made me smile more than you could know.

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  19. Beth, you seriously must have heard the conversation going on in my head! 🙂

    I have only been blogging a few months, but did so secretly until earlier this week. I absolutely NEED the outlet for what goes on in my head, but paradoxically I am a combination of waves from afar (Chandler) and here I am, take it or leave it (Monica-ish). Ha ha, but until this week, I was only sharing it with strangers!

    Anyway, happy to have found you via Inion N. Mathair, and I look forward to laughing with you frequently!

    Lynne

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    1. Hi Lynne! I’m so happy we found each other! I can’t tell you how validating it is to hear from others who feel the same! I’m thrilled you found the “balls” to share your blog with others. Heading over to check you out now….

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  20. It takes some balls… But on the other hand, like you say, it’s sometimes easier to say certain things to people you don’t see, ever. I too don’t like sharing my fiction with people I know, but on the Internet that’s very different!
    Blogging is a weird thing, but so very fun to do 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey NBI, nice to see you here! Thanks for reading. You totally got what I was saying; the buffer and anonymity of the internet makes it “safer” to share yourself and your writing than IRL people! It’s a strange dichotomy isn’t? I have people I have never met with whom I share my most vulnerable aspects…..and my closest friends never even heard me talk about those things. It’s crazy, weird, and absofuckinglutely wonderful. 🙂

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  21. I kept my hirsute testes well hidden for many years when it came to writing, never putting anything anywhere till I discovered this endearing platform. Once I let them out for a little peak, slightly sweaty from fear and trepidation, I could feel them swelling with power – or something – and one day decided to just flash the lot! Now, I haven’t gone so far as to remove all garments in the process, preferring some personal modesty in the nether regions but I can see the day when I might streak naked down the highways of full disclosure. Mostly now I write and hit publish and then sweat a bit all over. But the balls are definitely staying out for an airing. Seems cruel to keep them harnessed. So I’ve got my kilt on, letting them swing freely and, now and again, lifting my kilt a la Braveheart to shout freedom in the face of the enemy of silence.
    Now and again, I blog when I’m having a hauf and get more brave than I should do, wake up in the morning and pray that I didn’t really say THAT in a comment, did I? Then think, stuff it, it’s out there now.
    I think I’m more like Wilma to life’s Fred. I raise my eyebrows a lot at its antics and make ‘oh brother’ sounds at it. Plus I quite like her wee off-the-shoulder number!
    But blogging deffo takes at least two balls. Out or in.x

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    1. I can’t begin to articulate how hard I giggled nor how much I enjoyed this comment! hahahaha you’re so feckin’ awesome. Wilma to life’s Fred? BRILLZ.

      Also? I do have those moments where my head pops off the pillow and I think….holy shiz, did I really write that?? My scariest posts (The Dog Bite and The Phone Call) were ones like that. I didn’t pimp them out on social media AT ALL because I was so afraid of peoples’ responses, but then when comments full of love and support came pouring in, I pimped them out like a mofo and was very proud. My balls are still growing I guess, but they’re large and proud. LOL

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      1. Right, now I have to go check those posts out. I like to know I’m in good company for embarrassment. I find it reassuring. In a kind of pathetic way. I can say, ‘See, she says worse than me!’ Maybe I should have kept this comment until I’ve read the posts….too late. Publish!

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        1. And now I wish I’d never made this stupid comment. Nothing embarrassing. Nothing shameful. Just heartfelt and brave. Hugs. And I’ll try to learn to keep my big gob shut till after I’ve read in future.xox

          Like

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