beliefs

“Crap It”, And Other Profound Thoughts

The most unexpected part of being a grownup is….

Things like this still happen to me:

After all these years, I’m still the dingy blonde I was in my youth. Naively positive. Mostly oblivious. Probably shouldn’t be allowed to drive a motorized vehicle. But I’m entertaining, so there’s that. *sigh* (more…)

How Hubba Bubba Saved Me From Lukey Dukey.

This is a post for the fabulous Finish The Sentence Friday, in which this week’s prompt is…

When I was a kid I thought…

HUBBA BUBBA bubble gum (GRAPE to be exact) gave me super powers

super-hero-girl-14418762

SUPER BETH!

Specifically the ability to be outrageously fast. This was important because at my daycare all the girls were constantly chased by a dastardly villain named Lukey Dukey, a moniker he earned by being such a royal shit. He mercilessly chased us during recess, driving some girls to tears. But not I. Because if I reached in my pocket and got my grape Hubba Bubba,

Hubba Bubba Gum photo: hubba bubba 2006090354hubba-bubba-mix-pack.jpg

Unleash The Power

and even just smelled the wrapper….I was g-o-n-e like a flash of lightning!!

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Lukey Dukey never caught me, much to his chagrin.

*P.S. This is a story my husband has requested I not share at his work functions any more. In my defense, it was an office baby shower and there happened to be frickin’ Grape Hubba Bubba for a party game. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!

*P.P.S. My husband would like me to add that he’s not a douche nozzle. It’s just that this particular function was the first time his work people met me, so he thought I should save such stories for when they knew my “unique” personality better. *eye roll*

Hubba Bubba Gum photo: Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum 17ffdf32.jpg

Finish the Sentence Friday