Wild Woman Waking

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Today I have the sublime pleasure of being a part of a blog book tour for Morgan Dragonwillow’s new poetry book, Wild Woman Waking. I’ve read this book from cover to cover and can attest to its absolute deliciousness. Not only are her poems tiny, intricately laid stories that take you somewhere far away, but each one is also accompanied by Tui Snider’s stunning photography.

I am also spotlighted on Morgan’s blog today, where she said some lovely things about me. (check’s in the mail, Morgan)

I had the opportunity to ask both of them some questions: (more…)

Blogygamy

There’s this photo of me standing on a Mexico beach circa 1997 where I’ve got my hands reaching high in the air (holding a Corona, of course), and my head thrown back in pure joy. We refer to it as my “head poppage” photo because it looks like my head could literally blow right off my shoulders with happiness.

That is how I feel about my guest today.

I doubt I need to introduce her, but just in case there are a few left in the blogosphere who don’t already know and love her, I present the amazing Lizzi of Considerings. Her writing either dissolves me into giggles or leaves me utterly breathless, and I’m not just saying that because she’s my blogwife. She is a true story architect whom I admire to the moon and back. Without further ado…..take it away Lizzi. (more…)

Shit Just Got Real, People.

So this chick asks me to do a guest post on her blog, and I’m all, sure, no big whoop, whatevs.

Or maybe I actually went all,  *squeeeeeee* like a little girl and yelled 

YES! YES! YES!

Perhaps you’ve heard of her?

AUSSA LORENS.

She just so happens to be my favorite HACKER, NINJA, HOOKER, SPY on the planet!

PLEASE head over to her genius, hilarious, addictive blog and see what I had to share over there. It’s a doozie in pure Beth form.

“Crap It”, And Other Profound Thoughts

The most unexpected part of being a grownup is….

Things like this still happen to me:

After all these years, I’m still the dingy blonde I was in my youth. Naively positive. Mostly oblivious. Probably shouldn’t be allowed to drive a motorized vehicle. But I’m entertaining, so there’s that. *sigh* (more…)

Lexicon of Lust

This poem is in honor of August McLaughlin’s The Beauty of a Woman BlogFest III: #GirlBoner edition. If you haven’t read the bloggers who participated, you need to. Just hit that link in August’s name. I didn’t know about it in time to contribute, but it did inspire this poem. Lexicon Of Lust was sitting in drafts all lonely. Today I set it free. (more…)

Rock Star Moments, Hockey, And Lingerie. Not All At Once. Maybe.

First, a valentine for all my friends who read and support me.
And this time, I didn’t forget the men.

Press here if you like hot, sinewy, half naked men.

Press here if you like sexy chickadees. (this is a new, ever-evolving board. I’ll happily take direction/suggestions on who to have on it, guys!)

Back yet? Good. I’m glad I have your attention because this post is chock-full. I’m not stopping at ten. Hang onto your seats… (more…)

That Time A Comedian Stripped For Me. Sort of.

It was 1996. I was managing the Improv Comedy Club. It was a scorching hot summer. Relentless. The kind of heat that sears your throat when you breathe.  

Welcome to Texas.

Our comic that week was Rodney Carrington. The staff loved when he came to town. He was funny as hell, but also a genuinely nice guy who always treated the staff with respect. That wasn’t always the case with comics. Sometimes they acted like entitled shits. Sometimes they were alcoholic losers. Sometimes they were trippin’ on something the entire week.

But not Rodney. He was the real deal. (more…)

Night Of The Menage Attack, Take 2.

**This is a re-post from September when about ten people were reading me, but it’s freakin’ crazy-in-a-good-way and needs to be let out into the wild again.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program….

SO I went to a party over the weekend at a neighbor’s house down the street. I sat in the backyard for the first half of the evening with a friend, sipping drinks and enjoying the cool breeze. The hubs was with me for the first hour or so, but for the part of the story in question he was at home getting beauty sleep since he’s ambitious and does things on weekends like triathlons. Weirdo. (more…)

I’m Down, But Not Out

*the views expressed in the beginning of this post are not necessarily the views of the blog owner. In fact, the blog owner is a little pissed about it, but HAD to let this part be written. Or Else. Capeesh?

You ever have one of those days where you just wake up feeling like a failure…at everything?

Consistently exercising – FAIL
Being a good daughter – FAIL
Being a good enough Mom – FAIL
Being a good enough wife – FAIL
Being a good enough friend – FAIL
Being a writer – FAIL
Being a good blogger – FAIL
Flossing enough – FAIL (okay, I’m being funny here, but it’s TRUE)
CONSISTENT IN ANYTHING – FAIL
Actually, I’m pretty damn consistent in failing, which would be a win if it wasn’t FAILING.

I’ve got the blues.

FAIL

Thank you for your time, I’m done now.

*******

OKAY BETH IS BACK. Thanks for indulging Negative Nelly. She has to be let out from time to time. I mean, she’s part of me so I’m forced to acknowledge her feelings. Probably. Whatever.

BUT

I’m gonna to turn that frown upside down

Welcome to the:

*Scraping myself up off the floor edition of TToT*

I hurt my back again. I’m not sure what I did, but I’m grateful. This back pain reminds me that I’m not being active enough. My muscles are no longer strong. It’s been a wake up call.

This happened over the weekend to our kitchen floor:

floor

We’re assuming it’s foundation problems, although we won’t know anything for sure until we have it looked at by professionals. We were pretty freaked, but then reminded ourselves: Our kids are healthy, and we are still IN our home and have our keepsakes and possessions, unlike tornado or flood victims. If all we have to worry about is how this might inconvenience us or what it might cost us, we don’t have problems.

It’s been over a month since I quit my daily migraine medication. NO MIGRAINES!! Well, there was that one six days in, but I’m not even counting that. I can stay off my meds! YIPPEEE!

Veganism has taught me to love cooking again. In the past I was not inspired to cook. Handling raw meat grosses me out (well, there’s some meat handling I enjoy…wink, wink), not to mention that most meat-meals are not my favorite. But now I’m loving exploring new spices and new recipes. I find myself skimming cookbooks, dog-earing new ones to try, and sometimes even cooking just for fun and freezing it for another day!  WHAT? I know!

I’m thankful for a warm day amidst a cold winter. The better part of this past week was FAHreezing, but this weekend was really nice. I walked the dog today and let the sun warm my shoulders. It was sort of magical.

I’ve learned some things about myself recently, which is good, because if you don’t realize your flaws they continue to be flaws. I’m a perfectionist who gets discouraged very easily. I hold my own standards (no one else’s) impossibly high, and then crash with disappointment when I don’t meet them, inevitably giving up, or not trying to begin with. I have beliefs about myself that are wrong, and they continue to road-block me from success because I believe them. I am terrible about comparing myself to others in every aspect imaginable, and then beating myself up for not being good enough.

If you have a day/week/month where you are at the bottom of the bottom…you only have up to go. Failures are there to learn from and improve upon. Negative beliefs are there to disprove. Flaws are there to make us human, empathetic, and dynamic. Bad things make us appreciate the good.

I’m grateful even when I’m blue, because at least I’m here, feeling things. I have the luxury of getting back up, dusting myself off, learning from it, and moving on.

And plus, how can I be sad when Downtown Abby comes on tonight??? RIGHT!?

Things are looking up.

Ten Things of Thankful

Do you ever get the blues? Do you ever feel like a giant failure in life? Do you compare yourself to others to your own detriment? Please tell me this doesn’t just happen to me!

I’m Out Way Past My Curfew!

What do tofu and dildos have in common?

They’re both meat substitutes.

WHAT.

Okay, sorry. That was terrible. But I had to get the naughty out of my system – I’m over at Past My Curfew today because Mike was drunk generous enough invite me over to play.  I wanted to behave myself over there at his awesome blog. I think I did. Maybe.

You be the judge.

Do it. There’s another joke and everything. Go here.