Friends

Drugs and Sideboob Gratitude Tenfold.

I awoke this morning picking remnants of clingy migraine cobwebs off my brain. The storm has passed, yet I can still see lightning on the horizon, taunting me. I don’t get them much anymore thanks to a daily prescription I’ve been on for the past five years, but every once in a while one sneaks through and reminds how life used to be. Which brings me to number one of my Ten Things of Thankful list:

1. Migraine Drugs. Not only my daily, but also the Big Daddy that massacres any beastly ogre that manages to crash through the castle walls. When the migraine wasn’t gone after two days, I took the Big Daddy drug and SMASHED THE MOFO. I should’ve taken it a day earlier, but I haven’t had to take Big Daddy in several years and, quite frankly, forgot about it. Thank you, drugs. You are no joke and come with side-effects that make me appear dingier than I really am sometimes, but at least I have a life now. You have no idea how grateful I am for you.

2. SIDEBOOB!!! WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BE GRATEFUL FOR SIDEBOOB THAT’S INSANE!! Because it’s an AWARD SILLY! The Golden Sideboob Award, not only created by Lizzi of Considerings, but awarded to me by her as well. This award is for, and I quote, brazenness and hilarity, to be valued by its recipients as a symbol of their awesomeness. Well hot damn, color me honored!! Thank you, Lizzi! I’m quite proud of this award. If there is one thing I try to be it’s honestly funny. Or is it hilariously brazen? Either way, it’s cool to be noticed for it, and even more cool coming from an awesomerockin’, extraordinary, supportive, zany, uber-creative blogger such as Lizzi Rogers. I also gather it’s sort of a dare to see if the recipient will display it on their blog, which I don’t even really see as a dare but more of a privilege since I’m clearly a fan of all things round and hangy, so here goes!

The Golden Sideboob

Now, I’m supposed to award this to one other blogger who I feel is brazenly-hilarious-awesome, hasn’t already received it, and who I also think will display it on their blog. Turns out that’s easier said than done – to pick just one, that is. The next Golden Sideboob Award shall go to:

Kari of Miss bloggypants. I’m new to her blog but so far I love her honesty and she’s made me laugh out loud. I like that combo. Plus, she has a great About page and we both like minty sweets. AND AND AND this is her one year blogging anniversary! WOOP! I don’t know if she accepts awards, but I’m throwing this her way anyway. Happy Anniversary, Kari.

In the tradition of breaking rules (which I’m known for) I’d also like to nominate one other blogger who I believe displays awesomeness that deserves to be spotlighted: Mike over at Joe Floggers. He’s super talented and cool. And he has four grown kids who ALL had braces. I mean….
Plus, I kinda wanna see if he has the cajones to display it on his blog.

Congrats, guys. I genuinely admire both of you.

3. Milo, my dog, who (in my husband’s absence this weekend while he does an out-of-town triathlon. Good luck! Woop!) slept on the Hub’s side of the bed with his head on the pillow like a human and even snored so I wouldn’t feel lonely. Who does that? Milo does, that’s who.

4. My BFF’s longer commute for her new job. She hates it, but I love it because she calls me everyday on her way home. With her longer commute, we now get close to an hour to yap! Some days she is the first adult human I speak to all day. She is the person I can say anything to, ANYTHING. No matter how awful, snarky, or bitchy I sound, and vice-versa. Good posts have come out of those talks. I don’t think I would be sane without them.

5. HALLOWEEN! I have my first Halloween party of the year to attend tonight and I’m so excited! The kids are invited and we all get to dress up – yay! I hope to have photos to share tomorrow. I LOVE to dress up for Halloween. In the past few years I’ve been a witch (2 years in a row and then the kids said I scared them too much), a vampiress, and then Little Red Riding in the Hood last year (notice IN the hood, sort of a pimped out L.R.Riding Hood, pictured below.). Any guesses what I’m going to be this year? HINT: I want to try gory makeup. muwahahahaha.

me and the ghouls

6.  Mike, Clark or any straight man reading this: I apologize in advance. I’m very thankful for the link I’m about to share. Let’s just say it got me through this week. Sometimes a girl just needs a little eye candy to get through the day and Dracula hasn’t premiered yet, so without further ado:
for the ladies (& some guys)  (<<< Hit that linky. You won’t be sorry. Ask Lizzi)

7. I’m ending at seven because I like this number, but also because I’ve tortured you all enough. This has been a long post. I’ll save my other thankfuls for another day. My kiddos are awaiting entertainment and the hubs isn’t here to do it today (but will be home in a few hours in case you are a psycho-killer reading this. My husband is a muscly bad-ass SUCKA). Have a great weekend  everyone!

Ten Things of Thankful

TOASTERS! It’s The Little Things…

MY FIRST TEN THINGS OF THANKFUL POST! (ed. 17)

**I think I was once a woman who lived in the pioneer days. I say this because I find myself thankful for modern conveniences, but in a weird way, like I know what it was like without them, even though, of course, I do not. So in honor of her, I’m also going to throw in there dishwasher, car, electric stove, wash machine/dryer, dentistry, trash pick-up, and plane transportation. I’m sure there are more, but my past-life pioneer lady is busy scrubbing pantaloons in the river. I’ll ask her later.

Without further ado, and in no particular order, TEN THINGS I’M THANKFUL FOR:

1. This week some people in my life have given me completely unexpected little gifts that swelled my heart. These were not gifts in a literal sense, but intangible ones. A spontaneous act of kindness. Something genuine and sweet. Something that made my day. I appreciate those gestures more than they could ever know.

2. Rainy days. They’re the absolute best. For some reason, rainy days give permission to be curled on the couch at 2:00PM. In sweats. Eating ice cream. LIKE A BOSS.

3. My In-Laws. Yes, you read that right. I have the best in-laws in the world. Not only do I suspect they’re actually Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus, but they also find time in their busy schedules to give me and the hubs some date nights, and that’s just the shizzle dizzle.

4. Pinterest. (<press it!) Because I get to spend time making boards about things that interest me. How self-indulgent is that? It’s so fun! BTW, is it wrong to have a board dedicated to hotties? I’m asking for a friend.

5. Time. I’m so grateful for the place my life is in right now, and the time it allows me to spend oodles of time doing what I love: writing. I will never take it for granted. Ever.

6. Take out. Because I suck at wifery (some aspects, anyway) and never seem to be able to manage an entire week of dinners. Hell, sometimes two days of dinners is a big week for me. If it weren’t for take out, we would exist on soup and frozen pizza.

7. The Universe. For putting me in touch with just the right people…at just the right time. And always leading me in the right direction. Thank you. You rock.

8. Halloween! Not just because it’s the most fun, coolest day of the year where we get to dress up, and decorate, and eat candy corn…but it’s also the night I met my husband. 🙂

9. Milo. My dog. For running in the field with me every morning. For not requiring a leash even if I’m on a bike. For being the best trail running dog EVAH. For being patient with me. For not being a barker. For allowing the kids to pester the shit outta you. And for being the best rescue dog success story one could hope for.

10. Funny. This week I noticed how funny, how really witty, my boys are. They crack me up. I realized this comes from being around people who look at life with a sense of humor. It started with my family when I was young. They were the first people to make me laugh, and to teach me to look at life through silly, googly eyed glasses. It’s a gift, really, and it’s so damn cool to see it continue to my children.

Thank you to the hosts for letting me play and be a part of TToT. This was a pleasure!

Ten Things of Thankful

Fangs, Tattoos, And A Secret? Come To Momma.

Okay, I get this a lot, where I have so much going on in my head at once that I don’t know where to start. THANK GOD it’s too early for any of my friends to call, they wouldn’t get a word in edgewise.

My friends are reading this right now and wincing nodding cuz they know it’s true. You never know what you get when you call me. A normal conversation – OR – you say hi and then there is this pop like when you open a tube of biscuit dough and that’s it: I don’t stop for a solid twenty.

Consider the biscuit dough popped.

This post is interactive! A lot of the info I am putting forth is so much more fun if it’s conversational! Respond and it’ll be like we’re talking about this stuff over the phone with coffee…but not.

And to my FRIENDS (you know who you are!) who say, “I’m scared to comment cuz I don’t know how to say stuff all eloquent like your writer friends.” First of all, have you read the comments before? No one is trying to be eloquent. (BTW, the comment section is hysterical, so do yourself a favor, seriously) Secondly, I’m talking about fun stuff. Fucking comment. See the bubble, up by the title, near the date that has a number and the word comment? Press it. Then say stuff. I’ll give you a sucker.

Anyway, for your part, I will put the text in this color. Pay attention and play along! This will be fun. DO IT. (I do not under any circumstance have a shiv in my hand right now)

I’M FREAKING EXCITED! The premiers start this week and I’m coming unglued about it! I know I shouldn’t be this excited about TV, but damnit I am and I’m not going to hide it! Here’s what I plan to watch:

Monday: The Voice. Of course I’m Team Adam! (It’s a link. Hit it. You back yet? You’re welcome.) As you know from This Post (click that link to read it later), Adam and I were almost engaged once. Fer reals. He was very hurt when I chose my hubs over him. He wrote songs about it. And got a tattoo. Probably.

Do you watch the voice? If so, are you going to miss Shakira and Usher? I am. Very much. I liked them better. I don’t hate the original cast-o-judges, I just preferred S. & U. Also, if you were on the voice and had a 4 chair turn-a-round, who would you pick? Off the subject: Sleepy Hollow. Never seen it. Should I?

I’m also very curious about the premier of a new show that night, Hostages. I’m intrigued, but it has the potential to not deliver. We’ll see. Love Toni Collette, and Dylan McDermott is nothing to sneeze at either.

Tuesday: The Voice is on again, but other than that I don’t know what to be watching Tuesdays. What’s The Originals about? Should I watch it?

Wednesday: Survivor. I know, you might be thinking, Survivor? You still watch that? YES. Yes I do. It’s still awesome. And wanna know a little secret? There’s always a little eye candy. Always at least one cute guy, and then he gets even cuter when he turns all scruffy, skinny, and strung out looking by day 20. HOT. Watch it. Do you watch Survivor? If so, what do you think of the line-up this season? Are you rooting for anyone yet? Who annoys you already? If you don’t watch it, what do you watch Wednesdays? Anything I should be taping?

 Thursday: NBC’s entire line-up, of course. What else? I’ll tape The Crazy Ones over on CBS that night, too. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a new show with Sarah Michelle Gellar and ROBIN WILLIAMS, that looks freaking hysterical. Keep your eye on it – this could be a good one. What are your Thursday night faves? BTW, what’s going on over at Bravo? What do I need to be watching/taping? OMG – how am I going to have time for all this??

Friday: And what could possible be on Friday night, Beth? I’LL TELL YOU. Friday’s are special cuz I get to hang with my favorite things in the world, paranormals! GRIMM is replaying last season so everyone can get caught up and refreshed for their season 3 premier 10/25 – YAY! I might have a huge, unhealthy little crush on the lead character, Nick Burkhart (click and see how cute he is. I mean…right?).

Are you seeing a theme with my “boyfriends”? They’re either bad boys, or are good guys tormented by dark secrets (like, oops, I turn into a monster sometimes). YUM. And if he has fangs, tattoos, looks all tortured, AND has a secret….I just slid outta my chair. It’s okay, the hubs tolerates gets me and has no choice lets me have my little crushes. Hell, I still sleep in a Cullen #17 baseball T-shirt. (that was a Twilight reference for those of you that didn’t read the series) I might have a problem am totally stable.

ANYway, If you’ve never watched this show, do yourself a favor. It’s so well done and just good fun. Immediately following GRIMM is a new show, Dracula. Don’t know much about it, but it had me at Dracula. I hope it’s good, and I hope the vampires are sexy compelling. Do you watch GRIMM? If you were a wesen, what kind would you be? A werewolf like Monroe? An entirely new type of creature? A recognizable creature from a fable?

I’m sure there are other great shows I’m forgetting, but these are the ones premiering right now on local channels that I’m most excited about. Soon, DOWNTOWN ABBEY will be starting back with their season 4  – YAY! And VEEP on HBO is pee in your pants funny!

Tell me your favorite shows! Are there any I absolutely MUST be watching? Thank you for tolerating my thought vomit today!

I Don't Like Mondays Blog Hop

Blogging Takes Big Hairy Balls

I know what you’re thinking. Why does blogging take balls? I’ll tell you why. Because you’re putting yourself out there. Big time. You’re holding a neon sign and saying, “Hey world, here I am and all the crazy shit that goes on in my head! Do you like me? Press that thumbs-up button!”

Some days your post may be funny, other days it may be more thought provoking. You never know which your followers will respond to. It’s all a big risk, but you can’t write for some supposed, abstract expectation. So you write what’s in your head and in your heart. You squeeze your eyes and say a little prayer that someone out there in the blogosphere gets you, and you hit that publish button.

To some people this may be a risk free endeavor. People who are comfortable being in the spot light. “Here I am, take it or leave it” type people. They put it all out there, lay it all on the line to be judged or loved. Easy peasy. I admire the shit out of those people.

But that’s not me. Not by a long shot.

I’m more of a “waves from afar, hope you like me but if you don’t then I probably need to apologize at this point” type. Have you ever played that game – that what Friends character are you most like game? You probably have. So keep in mind who you think you’re most like, but then ask someone else who knows you well which character they think you’re most like. The answers won’t always match. My friends all said I was definitely Phoebe. I’m assuming because we’re both blonde and dingy; good natured and a little eccentric. Know who I always related to? Chandler. I never related to any of the girls – they were way too together for me. I related to the shy guy who never knew where he fit in. The sometimes awkward one who used humor to get himself through life, or to cover up when things got too real.

I’m fiercely private by nature, but trying very hard to learn to be more open. It takes tremendous effort to quiet the negative voices in my head and gather the cajones to write. I’ve found this is infinitely easier to do with strangers, however, so blogging is good practice for me. There is a comfortable buffer in sending your words to people you never (or rarely) see. Conversely, handing my novel over to beta readers, whom I know personally, almost made me physically ill. I would have rather paraded naked in front of them. I did it, though. I gave them my novel because I want it to succeed that bad. I’ll do whatever it takes.

So why the hell bother with a blog, Beth? Because I need to, desperately. It’s strangely cathartic. It fulfills some sort of innate writer’s need to share what’s in my head. If I don’t satisfy this call to action, I’m going to end up that crazy lady under the highway that talks to invisible people and shows her boobs to strangers eats paper. And you know, you know, I’ll have like a hundred cats. So I’ll continue to use this awesome, crazy, strange venue to purge what my muse wants to create, and with shaky, tentative hands I’ll offer it to you.

This is what was in my head today. I’m scooping my big, hairy balls over to the side so I can reach the publish button. If you enjoyed it, hit that damn like button and let me feel the love. Even better, comment and tell me which Friends character you think you’re most like. Did it match what others thought? Are you a blogger? Let me know if it takes big hairy balls for you to blog too. You can use a different analogy if you want. Jes sayin’. If you’re not appreciating the testes visual. If you are, you’re welcome.